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9/9/2011 c3 24Umei no Mai
Fish fetish?

Urgh, Kisame? I want to scrub my brain with soap...
2/28/2011 c3 6Lithius Osmius
About chapter five I can give a full opinion.

My hint this time is to watch story structure. Although the story should have free evolution, don't let it become a weed from hell. Like any good plant, stories require a certain degree of self-control from the author. I like creating the overall structure then letting story evolution flesh out the characters, though I watch myself to keep it realistic.

Keep going, and don't rush chapters. Creativity is sacrificed for speed, as is grammar and punctuation.
2/28/2011 c2 Lithius Osmius
It's interesting so far. I'm not able to flesh out a full review due to the earliness of the story.

However, I suggest watching grammar a bit more. A pleasantly written story is pleasantly read. I'm not expecting college level to-the-iota grammar nirvana here, but enough that smooth reading is achieved. If necessary read the chapter three, four, five times. At the very least, I read my chapters seven to ten times.
2/28/2011 c1 Lithius Osmius
Interesting start to what is sure to be an interesting story.

I might suggest a better story summary. It's an under rated, but very integral part of a story as it's what attracts readers; a good summary will attract reviewers and readers like a fly to honey. Simply stating a vague idea about the story and a note about a chapter update will not suffice. It's bland and boring.

Seriously, this has potential.

Oh, by the way, thank you for reading my Seed a Barren Earth story.
7/16/2008 c3 griffonskies
What's that "yellow chakra" the Hokage mentioned in the first chapter? And when is the next chapter?

Update soon. Please?
11/19/2007 c3 Iridys
This is a very interesting view of Naruto & Kakashi and I look forward to reading more. A small plot hole... you mention that Naruto entered the Academy at age 9, and that he seems to have been there for 5 years. But don't Naruto et all graduate at age 12? At any rate, I look forward to your rewrite, though I think it'd be less confusing if you just posted over the current story instead of starting a new one.

Sakura's portrayal in a pretty standard, but then I don't care too much about her :) I very much agree that Sasuke seems off. In the early manga arc, he didn't strike me as good enough to challenge an upper level Genin, much less Chuunin. I also didn't get the impression he was quite that malicious. The recent arc has everyone on a Sasuke-bashing spree, out of sheer vexation I suspect. Even the difference in power levels aside, Naruto's fugly outfit has me sighing and consigning everything after the fight in the Valley of Whatever out of my mind totally :P
11/3/2007 c3 11ojuzu
*applauds* I've been looking for a fic like this for quite a while. Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! On a slightly related note, Utada Hikaru's song 'Colors' started playing on my ipod roughly two seconds after I clicked on this story. I *love* it, and am definitely looking forward to reading more.

8/6/2007 c3 ArmorOfGeddon
Why is it that everyone assumes Naruto's aim sucks just because it was bad back in the Academy? During the original bell test he threw three shuriken, from underwater in a moving stream, and they all were aimed perfectly at Kakashi's head (they would have nailed him if he hadn't caught them).

No one in the real world could pray enough to God to have that kind of accuracy, especially with something that arcs when thrown like shuriken.

He's no Tenten, but he's pretty damn accurate. Most of the ninja we see are, that's why Tenten never seemed that impressive to me. Her big thing is supposed to be accuracy (though it'd be fairer to say her real thing is accuracy with mass saturation attacks), but almost any ninja worth his headband is fairly accurate with throwing weapons. Even Sakura was able to safely nail Naruto's jacket to the tree when he was falling after Orochimaru sealed away his access to Kyuubi's chakra.
8/6/2007 c3 1Cheerleader16
This is a really good story and I love how Naruot keeps suprising everyone. Please update soon
8/6/2007 c3 22Centurious the Azure
I like where you are going with this so far, comrade. Naruto is actually using his Kami given brain and Kakashi seems to be more like able. I can't wait to see what you will do with the rest of Naruto.

YOSH! THE QUALITY OF YOUR WORKS SHOW THAT THE FIRES OF WRITING ARE EXPLODING WITHIN YOU! *Strikes Nice Guy Pose with a dramtic sunset in the background. His teeth sparkel with the shine of ten thousand solar flares!*

-Centurious The Azure Cunning Hansome Writing Beast

P.S Could you perhaps read and review my Naruto fic as well? I would appreciate any thoughts that you would have on my work.
8/6/2007 c3 1drswoc
Very nice. I love the whole Kakashi view of things. Also the implied relationship between Itachi and Kisame is just priceless.
8/6/2007 c3 mangalover248
Nice to read a story with an actually likeable Kakashi. And he's doing what he should have done early on. His opinion of Sasuke being asexual is one I truly believe. He really should have given that advice early in the manga. Still am interested.
8/3/2007 c2 4The Apple's Pie
E! Great chapter! I love how Naruto is turning out, and the way Kakashi is handling the situation.

The cliffhanger was a nice touch too! ^^
8/3/2007 c1 The Apple's Pie
Wow. This is great! So well written! Great job! ~^^~

I really like your input on the ShadowClone~ I never thought of it like that before!
8/3/2007 c2 19M2J MandalorianJedi
One hell of a cliffy, that's for sure, though I have little to no douubt that Kakashi can get out of it. I hope Kakashi can find some way to help Naruto, or at least let Naruto know that it isn't by his own choice that he can't help him as much as he wants.

I had to do a double take when I saw my pen name in the author's notes. Your fic, so far, is not worth a second look, but a third one, and if you keep it up a fourth one as well. :)

Do keep up the good work!
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