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for The Joren Chronicles

7/16/2010 c1 1pegada
hmmm, interesting idea, but you have a few grammar and punctuation mistakes. Also, this chapter is a lot of Tammy's stuff and not a lot of your own. I don't know if it's more of your thing in the later chapters, but you'd do better to give more insight into Joren's thoughts; I'm assuming that's the purpose of this fic. You may want to get a beta-reader to correct those mistakes.
12/27/2008 c2 10Ally-Marty
You made a very good start. What happened? Are you going to continue the story? Please update soon!
4/5/2008 c2 49xxTunstall Chickxx
Great job. Though Faleron has dark hair, not red but still good chapters. Update soon!

Keep Writing,

xxTunstall Chickxx
11/11/2007 c1 nekonic
an interesting take on Joren.
8/8/2007 c1 Night Aurora
Aww... I thought this chapter was cute. =D It's nice to see things from Joren's point of view. Update soon?
7/27/2007 c1 1Tears Washed Away
This seems like a very promising beginning and i def. liked reading it.


grow points would be nit-picky at best:

-seperate the dialogue with some dashes or such

-it felt like a bit much exposition, which well DUH, it's the first chapter.

I'm looking forward to you updating!
5/30/2007 c1 Blueberry Sparkle
I would just like to point out that Faleron is dark haird and not a redhead. And I think he's only a year oldedr than Merric.
5/17/2007 c1 10SarahE7191
This is awesome, I love it already! Update soon.


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