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for LotM: Shining Light, Hidden Power

11/10/2010 c3 Nycel
this is great
2/15/2010 c3 Cosmos Angel and Yami Darkness
cool keep going
5/29/2009 c3 1Moonlit Death
You have a good plot but you need to work on the story. Take for instance half of the Hyuuga aligning with Naruto just like that it does not make sense nor does the situation with the other clans. I admit you have some interesting ideas here but you might want to stay within the realm of possibility as much as you can. Also Naruto resurrecting Obito and Rin just like that with no strain on his body, or at least none that has been written, is also out there. When you factor in the amount of chakra needed to pull that off and then having Rin and Obito suddenly appear without even using their old bodies that's where I draw the line. I will admit I do love some parts of this, otherwise I wouldn't even bothered to review, you have to make it at least semi-credible to interest your readers more.
5/29/2009 c2 Moonlit Death
Again you're moving too fast here and you should have made Naruto's explanation more plausible and have more detail. You also should have built up to that Danzo thing and revealed it in a later chapter to build up the suspense. Some parts of it were rather nice I especially liked Naruto told the Hokage to stop drooling. On my last review I wrote I was writing out of room when I meant running so sorry about that. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Hyuga is spelled Hyuuga but again you never know. You also had some mistakes here and there but nothing too bad. If I'm being to negative or harsh I'm sorry but I think you have a good idea here so naturally I want to see this story get better.
5/29/2009 c1 Moonlit Death
Okay you got a really good plot here but there are a few things that could be better. I felt that you moved too fast in this chapter and you should have added more detail. Also Kyubi is spelled Kyuubi as far as I know but there are different spellings of it so that doesn't really matter. And instead of Lord Death God he can be called Shinigami-sama or just Shinigami. Same thing for the third he can be called Hokage-sama instead of Lord Hokage. If you're using those on purpose than just ignore the above. I can't help you with that whole dusk thing unfortunately. Some parts of the story also just aren't plausible if you want to know ask me and I'll tell you because I'm writing out of room here. Good thinking on the Hell's Judgment thing by the way it's very unique.
2/8/2008 c3 31LoliBat
Oh.My.Gosh! This story PWNS so MUCH! i just have a question though; are you going to continue your fics? Because you haven't updated in a long time. Are you going to let ppl adopt it?
2/2/2008 c3 killroy777
good story
11/6/2007 c3 8ApocSM
Love the story, update soon!
10/26/2007 c3 2hizmit12-waterlilly3721
Plase update soon.
9/30/2007 c3 5DarkDemonTwins
Great story
8/15/2007 c3 4MizuKitsune10
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THIS IS AWESOME! UPDATE PLEASE!
7/2/2007 c3 scione
I realy like how you got this story going.
7/2/2007 c2 scione
hehe did not see that comeing.
7/2/2007 c1 scione
nice.
6/9/2007 c3 3Zarunak
You reviewed my story and i thought i might as well read yours

its good, i am curios as to how you will handel chinin exams

as for those translations:

try this site "

keep up the story. it rox
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