for Tonks' Nightmare7/19/2007 c1 
9Eat a Taco
SR~
Good idea, nice, but flesh it out a bit. I think you could've made his death a bit more dramatic, a bit more horrible. Her feelings as he fell, his expression, the best part of Sirius' death in OotP is JKR's incredible description. "It took him an age to fall" and "Laughter still mingled in his features."
Nicely done, though. A good start, to say the least. And I like Mad-Eye's part. Or however you say it. :\ I just love little things like that.
~EP
9Eat a TacoSR~
Good idea, nice, but flesh it out a bit. I think you could've made his death a bit more dramatic, a bit more horrible. Her feelings as he fell, his expression, the best part of Sirius' death in OotP is JKR's incredible description. "It took him an age to fall" and "Laughter still mingled in his features."
Nicely done, though. A good start, to say the least. And I like Mad-Eye's part. Or however you say it. :\ I just love little things like that.
~EP
6/12/2007 c1 1Flubber Wubber
Good Ideas. Describe her feelings as she sees that he is dead. And maybe make his death a bit more dramatic. It is the main point of the piece, so beef it up a bit, blank staring eyes, a shocked look, her feelings as she sees him crumple and smash. Add some blood too, you can never have too much blood.
1Flubber WubberGood Ideas. Describe her feelings as she sees that he is dead. And maybe make his death a bit more dramatic. It is the main point of the piece, so beef it up a bit, blank staring eyes, a shocked look, her feelings as she sees him crumple and smash. Add some blood too, you can never have too much blood.
6/6/2007 c1 22ajesusl31907
oh, wow. i can't wait to see if this could go anywhere...i think it could, hopefully you'll choose the right decision...good luck
22ajesusl31907oh, wow. i can't wait to see if this could go anywhere...i think it could, hopefully you'll choose the right decision...good luck