for The VDay dance1/21/2008 c2 
20KimieArato
d'aw. this was totally cute!
I love Sakura's thoughts at the end/
such a dirty little thinker she is!
-cough-of COURSE naruto is on the bottom..he wouldnt be able to top sasuke even if he tried. ...-cough-
lol
20KimieAratod'aw. this was totally cute!
I love Sakura's thoughts at the end/
such a dirty little thinker she is!
-cough-of COURSE naruto is on the bottom..he wouldnt be able to top sasuke even if he tried. ...-cough-
lol
1/3/2008 c2 16Crazy PurpleSage
Ha, that was cute and funny. I liked the Sakura taking her medications thing.
16Crazy PurpleSageHa, that was cute and funny. I liked the Sakura taking her medications thing.
12/27/2007 c1 14Anthoinette
Ok, I love the plot and story on itself, but a tip: keep a dictionary on your desk. It is a great help for me and if you think it isn't helping, ask someone to be your beta.
I like the story so far, so when are you updating :)?
14AnthoinetteOk, I love the plot and story on itself, but a tip: keep a dictionary on your desk. It is a great help for me and if you think it isn't helping, ask someone to be your beta.
I like the story so far, so when are you updating :)?
7/12/2007 c1 Panda-Pigeon
Okay, so are you going to put up the 2nd chappie or not! I like this one (even though Sasuke is a little too mean) so post it or take it off or something~panda
Okay, so are you going to put up the 2nd chappie or not! I like this one (even though Sasuke is a little too mean) so post it or take it off or something~panda
7/4/2007 c1 2Fighting Against The World
next chapter now!
mesa likey thisa!
the sakura and naruto convo' sounded weirdly similar to one me and my friend had...i was sakura...*shivers at the fact she was compared to the pink-haired demon*...omg...my brain...it broke...*lies on the floor whimpering*
Murphy: great. once again i have to pick her up...
2Fighting Against The Worldnext chapter now!
mesa likey thisa!
the sakura and naruto convo' sounded weirdly similar to one me and my friend had...i was sakura...*shivers at the fact she was compared to the pink-haired demon*...omg...my brain...it broke...*lies on the floor whimpering*
Murphy: great. once again i have to pick her up...
6/7/2007 c1 3Errant Writer
Grade: 0/10
Spell check. Use it. No exceptions.
Author's note in the information, not in the middle of the story.
Use of Japanese in an English fic, not good.
No developement.
No plot.
No conclusion.
Conflict is generic and and dialogue driven.
To be honest this was a waste of time. Put some effort into your writing or don't bother to write.
3Errant WriterGrade: 0/10
Spell check. Use it. No exceptions.
Author's note in the information, not in the middle of the story.
Use of Japanese in an English fic, not good.
No developement.
No plot.
No conclusion.
Conflict is generic and and dialogue driven.
To be honest this was a waste of time. Put some effort into your writing or don't bother to write.
6/7/2007 c1 26IceCreamXD
Umm, it's okay I guess. If you don't have a spelling checker, go download firefox. It's an internet that when you type, it'll underline red when you make a mistake. So you'll have to edit on it from fanfiction. It doesn't do grammar though. But anyways, love the pink idea. I'm sure the Naruto looks very kawai!
26IceCreamXDUmm, it's okay I guess. If you don't have a spelling checker, go download firefox. It's an internet that when you type, it'll underline red when you make a mistake. So you'll have to edit on it from fanfiction. It doesn't do grammar though. But anyways, love the pink idea. I'm sure the Naruto looks very kawai!
6/7/2007 c1 1JustMeDeal
There are a lot of spelling errors and grammar mistakes, but I think this still has promise.
Keep it up!
1JustMeDealThere are a lot of spelling errors and grammar mistakes, but I think this still has promise.
Keep it up!