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6/19/2008 c12 12Mirajane Scarlet
Wow. Duncan, in this story, is really a jerk. I really don't like him in this story.

6/19/2008 c11 Mirajane Scarlet
Okay, what? I think I'm confused or I missed something or something. This seems off. The last part of the last chapter is Veronica and Logan all happy together. I don't get it.

And also is the part in italics a flashback or a memory? It doesn't really make much sense if it's a memory. If it's a memory, then how does she know what Logan is thinking?

And really, the more and more I read of this chapter, the more confused I am.

What exactly happened between the last chapter and this one?

Okay, wait... Parker said graduation. And looking back on it, Veronica said eight months, and they were together for eight months the last time...

Is this chapter just misplaced or something?

And again, the more I read it, the more it looks like it should be placed in Senior year of College. Again, what's going on?
6/18/2008 c9 Mirajane Scarlet
Okay, hold up. I love the LoVe, obviously, but I don't like that you suddenly seem to be making Max into a bad guy. If he was this bad ass, super mean guy wouldn't he have stuck up for himself more against Logan at the wedding? Or maybe if he's like this wouldn't he hit Logan?

Wait, does Veronica live in New York or Boston? I'm confused. If she lives in New York wouldn't Nicole not want to move to New York?

But I do like the end part with Veronica and Logan.

6/18/2008 c8 Mirajane Scarlet
All I have to say for this chapter is Oh... no... they did not just do that! Bad, bad Duncan.

6/18/2008 c7 Mirajane Scarlet
Okay, seriously, this story is so complicated it hurts. In a good way, of course.

But the part where you describe what's going on with Parker and what's going on with Piz is a little confusing. I didn't know who you meant at first.

And I like the number twelve bit, it's cute.

And wow, the speech you made up for Logan is almost better than the 'epic' speech .

6/17/2008 c6 Mirajane Scarlet
Wait... Casey Gant?

And Veronica and Logan are living together? Even if they're friends, that's weird. Something they'd do of course, but weird none the less. ]

And as for the rest of the chapter... well... I'm just not going to say anything about that. :)

And then there's the part where Duncan shows up... uh, awkward.

And this sentence is messed up, "Logan silently prayed that everything would be okay, that Duncan would screw with the happiness they’d found." - shouldn't it be "Duncan wouldn't screw with the happiness they'd found."

Aside from that, there are a couple of other spelling mistakes, but obviously just stuff from the chapter not being read over enough times.

And wow, this is a long chapter. A lot happens.

6/17/2008 c4 Mirajane Scarlet
Oh... my... Lianne doesn't really think it's her fault, does she? I mean, it isn't. Well, okay, so I can see how she would think that, but... huh. That is a totally unexpected point of view.

Oh... and that's why Lianne leaves! She knows Keith is wrong about Jake. Okay, now that's her fault for not telling him. For letting everything get ruined. Now that's not fair.

Well done.

6/17/2008 c3 Mirajane Scarlet
Okay, there are a couple of small errors (missed commas and periods and the like) but I really like how you're describing everything that happened before season one from Lianne's perspective.

Oh, and I noticed that you, as lots and lots of people do, have a problem with tenses in this chapter. It switches back and forth from present to past. It's barely noticeable, and something I only noticed after re-reading bits of it, but still, it's there.

6/6/2008 c1 Mirajane Scarlet
I definitely like this one too. There isn't a lot out there that's about Lianne and Jake, so this is cool.

5/23/2008 c13 1leslucids
i loved this story, god i even cried when logan broke up with veronica, by the way you made duncan out to seem like the way i picture him, an ass. anyway thanks for writing the names of those songs, becuase i have juts downloaded them all and i love them! i hope you continue on with The Return though it's been a long time.
1/3/2008 c14 mallika
LoVed it! I really, really enjoyed your story and I'm enjoying The Return loads. Please write more VMars stories.

Especially LoVe ones. xD
12/18/2007 c14 xosummerxo
very cute ending. I loved it.
12/18/2007 c3 xosummerxo
I like this story. I like how the first few chapts were based on Lianne and Jake. Update
12/8/2007 c14 miaz
Hee, Whoo!

So excited this is finished. It was an amazing story that was exciting, dramatic, thrilling, and so good. Loved reading along with it.

Haha, no Mars ends up with a Kane...good to know, hee.
12/1/2007 c14 9Rory Forrester
absolutely wonderful. you did a beautiful job, thank you so much for this.
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