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for Sasuke Left Konoha,With Sakura with Him

6/23/2016 c10 Guest
This story sucks
12/17/2015 c5 Guest
Well.. Actually they wouldn't be able to return just like that because, by leaving the village and killing/attacking their own, they would be considered traitors... so I don't think it would be a happy return to Konoha...
12/17/2015 c1 Reader
It's good, really good. But I recommend you to check the orthography before posting.
Keep up the good job!
9/14/2014 c1 Missvenita
I've read a few chapters in, and it's very hard for me to continue because your grammar is awful. Please get a Beta reader to review your work before publishing because you'll gain more readers that way. Also the characters are OOC and if you intended on that, please mention that in your summary line. It is a very important fact and will help others decide if they want to read your story or not.
8/19/2014 c19 Guest
please UPDATE!
8/13/2013 c19 leafstone
great story.
5/26/2013 c19 Kaylyn Blair
I love this so much thank you please wright more!
10/1/2011 c19 Funnycow
First of all if sasuke and Sakura went left Konoah they wouldn't come back so easily second of all everyone wants to see what they where doing in orochimarus layer third of all this is a great story just needs some tweaks buh bye ^_^
7/25/2009 c14 ahmet
orochimaru sasuke naruto kakashi sakura choji oki itachi kabuto deidara neji lee gai asume kurenai third hokage gaara temari kankuro shino misiumi yoroi zaku ten ten ino shikamaru
6/30/2009 c8 TOBEDELETEDD
in shippuden sasuke is very strong. stronger than everyone in konoha. if sakura went with him she would be stronger too. they wouldnt come back to konoha and sasuke wouldve sensed that they were there. but i think your right that if orochimaru didnt die because of sasuke, sasuke would be a spy or something... maybe..
6/30/2009 c6 TOBEDELETEDD
im sorry but you haven't seen shippuden yet have you? sasuke has to kill orochimaru to get away. orochimaru wants sasukes body for his reanimation. i would like it more if you made the story more detailed. and i wouldve liked to have read how it was in orochimaru's lair.
6/30/2009 c1 TOBEDELETEDD
nice story, youve already done 19 chapters but im saying here and now. dont make them to OCish or youll lose all your readers. make orochimaru test her or something. maybe make kabuto teach her aswell. and dont make it too unbelievable. i love stories that are close to the real thing, so make sakura act like herself, not too girly. she would be afraid of orochimaru but when she grows up she starts to get annoye with kabuto.. like that
7/31/2008 c19 1LadyChelsea50
please hurry up and add some more please! i have been waiting forever!
5/6/2008 c4 Mikorio
The story is going on pretty good so far. But there are three things I have to point out.

1. You are misusing the abbreviation 'your'. 'Your' means something that the 'you' mentioned, owns. Where as you have put it in place of 'you're' which stands for 'you are'. A good trick to correcting this is reading the sentence with 'you are' to see if it makes sense. This problem also happens with 'their' and 'they're.'

2. You're telling the reader instead of showing them. During this chapter, when Naruto jumped onto the desk in frustration, Tsunade was obviously annoyed. Yet, you just wrote "Tsunade got annoyed'. This is a major mistake. It would be much more appealing to the reader if you described HOW she got annoyed. Then, it is easier to construct an image in your mind. I don't know about you, but when I read fanfiction, I can see the things happening in my head like watching the anime. It's much harder to do this without the description.

Now, I don't mean overloading and writing something like: 'The 22345 Hairs on Tsunade's arm stood on end as she clenched and unclenched her hand 4 times. The Hokage's sleeved limb swing out over the oak grained desk that had been occupied by 3 generations before her..."

That is just going too far, but something like this with a bit more moderation is easy to read and flows with a good mental image.

"Tsunade 's hand twitched in great agitation under the dented wood table covered with marks of spilt sake. The diamond shape on her forehead warped as the Hokage furrowed her brow."

See the difference?

3. There is a slight OOC-ness in the plot, not that it has a major effect on the plot (e.g. Sasuke screaming and running up a tree when he sees a mouse)but it is seen through the slightly stiff dialogue.

All in all, this is a good story that just needs a bit of twerping and maybe an editor.
12/5/2007 c18 4xnyre
yes awesome chapter! your a very interesting writer you now that? well anyways keep up the good work and update soon!=)
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