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6/24/2007 c1 18Papayas Say That's Kooky
Hm...well, this story isn't bad. I agree with um...well, one of your reviewers-you should be more descriptive. Lengthen out the chapter. HOWEVER, I think the whole cutting portion in the beginning was good. I really think if you tried to make it more dramatic if would just be silly and unbelievable. This was just about right. But yes, please lengthen your chapters.

I like how you kept everyone in character. I really like how her friends caught her cutting and this isn't just an angsty-Pashmina-cutting story...this is a bit more realistic. I love Sandy's attitude. Very nice.

A little nitpick-type out the number thirty. Just a little pet peeve. Sorry! ^^

Nice story...can be lengthened and more descriptive, but it's by no means awful! Do continue!

6/24/2007 c1 6SilverAngel223
I've fallen in love with this story too! Poor Pashmina, what's going to happen to her? You made the first chapter really interesting and captivating with the descriptions! Please continue
6/24/2007 c1 11DollieMay 19

You were trying to be dramatic with Pashmina at the beginning and throughout the chpater right? Here's a tip: Be more descriptive. I'm sorry if I keep harping on this, I really am, but I just didn't feel it. You need to make the readers feel things as they read and keep them interested. I wasn't bored, of course, but I think it needs a little more sprucing up here and there. So, keep up the work, take my advice if you want to, and update soon so I can see where this is going. ^^

Also, with your upcoming character. (Which is exciting news to me) Plese refrain from making him/her a Sue/Stu. I'm sure you'll do great, though! Just a warning. You're doing fine right now so don't sweat too much about this. Good job!

~DI 15*

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