for He once smiled: Macavity’s story9/26/2007 c2 
8laal ratty
Sounds like a good story so far and I'm interested to find out what's going to happen next.
8laal rattySounds like a good story so far and I'm interested to find out what's going to happen next.
7/3/2007 c2 18Bomba-Fae
Okay where to start...
It's spelled MunkUstrap not Munkastrap.
And you really need to learn proper grammar; for every time someone says something, it has to be a new paragraph. Ex:
Amethyst laughed at the face her eldest son made, he was utterly astonished that the kitten had clung to him, but with a gentle tug he freed the new arrival and handed him off to his mother. “I think I’ll call him Munkastrap” she said weekly “haha he seems to rely like you Macavity.” Macavity dismissed the statement with a nod and left the room, somewhat pale. After Munkastrap had been cleaned off and fed he began to roam like the other kittens, he was not going far but unlike the others, he seemed to be searching for something and he was frantically mewing.
Should be,
Amethyst laughed at the face her eldest son made, he was utterly astonished that the kitten had clung to him, but with a gentle tug he freed the new arrival and handed him off to his mother.
“I think I’ll call him Munkastrap,” she said weekly. "Haha, he seems to really like you Macavity.”
Macavity dismissed the statement with a nod and left the room, somewhat pale. After Munkastrap had been cleaned off and fed he began to roam like the other kittens, he was not going far but unlike the others, he seemed to be searching for something and he was frantically mewing.
You also need to proof read this because it has some spelling errors. Still, it has potential and you have to keep trying; practice makes perfect. In no time you'll be great.
:P
Good luck!
Hope that was somewhat helpful, if you have any questions about anything just feel free to ask.
Smiles,
Bomba
18Bomba-FaeOkay where to start...
It's spelled MunkUstrap not Munkastrap.
And you really need to learn proper grammar; for every time someone says something, it has to be a new paragraph. Ex:
Amethyst laughed at the face her eldest son made, he was utterly astonished that the kitten had clung to him, but with a gentle tug he freed the new arrival and handed him off to his mother. “I think I’ll call him Munkastrap” she said weekly “haha he seems to rely like you Macavity.” Macavity dismissed the statement with a nod and left the room, somewhat pale. After Munkastrap had been cleaned off and fed he began to roam like the other kittens, he was not going far but unlike the others, he seemed to be searching for something and he was frantically mewing.
Should be,
Amethyst laughed at the face her eldest son made, he was utterly astonished that the kitten had clung to him, but with a gentle tug he freed the new arrival and handed him off to his mother.
“I think I’ll call him Munkastrap,” she said weekly. "Haha, he seems to really like you Macavity.”
Macavity dismissed the statement with a nod and left the room, somewhat pale. After Munkastrap had been cleaned off and fed he began to roam like the other kittens, he was not going far but unlike the others, he seemed to be searching for something and he was frantically mewing.
You also need to proof read this because it has some spelling errors. Still, it has potential and you have to keep trying; practice makes perfect. In no time you'll be great.
:P
Good luck!
Hope that was somewhat helpful, if you have any questions about anything just feel free to ask.
Smiles,
Bomba