for The Dursley Witch5/12 c89 suprita45
Hey, I haven't reviewed this story yet as I'm about seven years late, but since you asked for typos (and if you find it in any way reasonable to edit after such a long time)...
1. You misspelled 'Scrimgeour'
2. You have misspelled 'priori incantatem' pretty much everywhere so far
Also, enjoying your story a lot! Already read 'The Paths Diverge' (and actually came here from that one).
Thanks a lot for the really good - and COMPLETED - stories!
Hey, I haven't reviewed this story yet as I'm about seven years late, but since you asked for typos (and if you find it in any way reasonable to edit after such a long time)...
1. You misspelled 'Scrimgeour'
2. You have misspelled 'priori incantatem' pretty much everywhere so far
Also, enjoying your story a lot! Already read 'The Paths Diverge' (and actually came here from that one).
Thanks a lot for the really good - and COMPLETED - stories!
3/17 c39 Guest
Fucking finally. 39 chapters and you're FINALLY actually diverging from the canon in some miniscule way. Jesus Christ.
Fucking finally. 39 chapters and you're FINALLY actually diverging from the canon in some miniscule way. Jesus Christ.
3/17 c38 Guest
This is so pathetic. Literally NOTHING in this story ever changes. It's all stations of canons, by the numbers. It all ends up working out exactly the same way. Why did you even write this trash?
This is so pathetic. Literally NOTHING in this story ever changes. It's all stations of canons, by the numbers. It all ends up working out exactly the same way. Why did you even write this trash?
3/17 c37 Guest
(doubtful, as Pansy had to cast 'Aqumenti', a less powerful version of 'Augmenti' at herself to rinse her hair properly)
lol, fucking something as basic as spelling a canon charm correctly twice in one sentence. You sure are a Published Author Deserving Of Respect alright.
(doubtful, as Pansy had to cast 'Aqumenti', a less powerful version of 'Augmenti' at herself to rinse her hair properly)
lol, fucking something as basic as spelling a canon charm correctly twice in one sentence. You sure are a Published Author Deserving Of Respect alright.
3/16 c10 Guest
Your Mary Sue is just as bad as her parents. She goes to celebrate Extra Speshul Magical Not-Christmas in a castle because she's just that speshul, but she doesn't even give a second's thought to NOT leaving her cousin behind. Also, she's basically completely superfluous to the plot so far.
Your Mary Sue is just as bad as her parents. She goes to celebrate Extra Speshul Magical Not-Christmas in a castle because she's just that speshul, but she doesn't even give a second's thought to NOT leaving her cousin behind. Also, she's basically completely superfluous to the plot so far.
3/15 c5 Guest
Ugh, this is already starting out terribly. Getting some real Mary-Sue vibes here.
Ugh, this is already starting out terribly. Getting some real Mary-Sue vibes here.
2/10 c4 MeanderingSmoke
Great story so far! However, I think there are a couple of reasons why I think it doesn't really do justice to the original premise.
I was expecting to see more of a conflict when the Dursleys' own daughter turned out a witch. It should have been a much bigger problem for Roisin to actually get to Hogwarts, and a great opportunity for character development. With the addition of the O'Connor clan and Fiona Dursley-O'Connor, the entire situation is effectively sidestepped. We know that Fiona will stand up to the Dursleys, so there is no angst or uncertainty in Roisin's schooling situation.
In addition, Harry and Roisin are basically doing their own thing, entirely separately. I can't see their prior relationship have much impact on Harry's school years, except that there is just another face in his extended friend group (the likes of Neville, Weasely twins, etc.)
Considering the above two points together, this feels like it's going to be the story of an unrelated, OC muggle-born who just so happens to be going to Hogwarts at the same time as Harry Potter. Not that there is anything wrong with a fic about a unrelated OC at Hogwarts, if that was what you intended to write. I really liked the orginal premise, and I can't help but feel it's a bit of a missed opportunity.
Great story so far! However, I think there are a couple of reasons why I think it doesn't really do justice to the original premise.
I was expecting to see more of a conflict when the Dursleys' own daughter turned out a witch. It should have been a much bigger problem for Roisin to actually get to Hogwarts, and a great opportunity for character development. With the addition of the O'Connor clan and Fiona Dursley-O'Connor, the entire situation is effectively sidestepped. We know that Fiona will stand up to the Dursleys, so there is no angst or uncertainty in Roisin's schooling situation.
In addition, Harry and Roisin are basically doing their own thing, entirely separately. I can't see their prior relationship have much impact on Harry's school years, except that there is just another face in his extended friend group (the likes of Neville, Weasely twins, etc.)
Considering the above two points together, this feels like it's going to be the story of an unrelated, OC muggle-born who just so happens to be going to Hogwarts at the same time as Harry Potter. Not that there is anything wrong with a fic about a unrelated OC at Hogwarts, if that was what you intended to write. I really liked the orginal premise, and I can't help but feel it's a bit of a missed opportunity.
12/22/2022 c63 DustieDaven
I am glad you are changing some things. I mentioned in an earlier review that I would like to see Harry meet the O'Conners and now that looks like a possibility. I am thrilled
I am glad you are changing some things. I mentioned in an earlier review that I would like to see Harry meet the O'Conners and now that looks like a possibility. I am thrilled
12/22/2022 c61 DustieDaven
Awesome chapter. Yay! Cedric is alive. Loved the ruin tv. Great idea. Loved the fight at the end. Roisin is so creative using the graves to bounce spells. I love that you had all three teenagers get hurt. Proving they are not superhuman. Roisin forgetting where she was in worry was delightful. Sorry she got crucioed but good story
Awesome chapter. Yay! Cedric is alive. Loved the ruin tv. Great idea. Loved the fight at the end. Roisin is so creative using the graves to bounce spells. I love that you had all three teenagers get hurt. Proving they are not superhuman. Roisin forgetting where she was in worry was delightful. Sorry she got crucioed but good story
12/22/2022 c60 DustieDaven
I love how you are writing your characters. I don't know what that other reviewer was talking about. I want to see what Roisin has done to the Daily Prophet. They so deserve some grief for the stuff they allow Rita to get away with
I love how you are writing your characters. I don't know what that other reviewer was talking about. I want to see what Roisin has done to the Daily Prophet. They so deserve some grief for the stuff they allow Rita to get away with
12/22/2022 c58 DustieDaven
I enjoyed the whole chapter but particularly liked the part where Sirius was fighting the death eaters
I enjoyed the whole chapter but particularly liked the part where Sirius was fighting the death eaters
12/22/2022 c57 DustieDaven
Having Roisin as hostage makes more since than Ron. The way you have written the story, I would have been disappointed if you hadn't made her a hostage.
Having Roisin as hostage makes more since than Ron. The way you have written the story, I would have been disappointed if you hadn't made her a hostage.
12/21/2022 c54 DustieDaven
Sorting hat song in haiku sounds amazing. I hope Harry takes Roisin's advice. I disliked that he and Ron treated their dates so shabbily in the book. The Hermione and Krum scene was just too cute. Once again I really enjoy your story and appreciate your sense of humor.
Sorting hat song in haiku sounds amazing. I hope Harry takes Roisin's advice. I disliked that he and Ron treated their dates so shabbily in the book. The Hermione and Krum scene was just too cute. Once again I really enjoy your story and appreciate your sense of humor.
12/21/2022 c51 DustieDaven
I really enjoyed this chapter. Not that I dont enjoy the whole story, but I appreciate the way you have made the house elves their own people. I would like to see winky adopted by the O'Conners. That would be wonderful. I like the way Harry reacted to his cousin saying "We".
I really enjoyed this chapter. Not that I dont enjoy the whole story, but I appreciate the way you have made the house elves their own people. I would like to see winky adopted by the O'Conners. That would be wonderful. I like the way Harry reacted to his cousin saying "We".
12/20/2022 c38 DustieDaven
Loved the chapter. I loved that Roisin woke Snape up to help. I am glad she was able to produce a baby patronus to help. I loved that the rat didn't get away. Lupin changing was great as well. Nice work. I can't wait to read more.
Loved the chapter. I loved that Roisin woke Snape up to help. I am glad she was able to produce a baby patronus to help. I loved that the rat didn't get away. Lupin changing was great as well. Nice work. I can't wait to read more.