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5/9/2011 c1 15Edelin
That was nice... May I ask something? Who is the father of Ino's kid? Or he is just someone of no importance
9/3/2008 c1 Oathkeeper-Ryu
I kept getting confused with who the girlfriend was.. sometimes it seemed like Ino other times I did not know who it was.. care to explain?
9/24/2007 c1 4Dragon's Assistant
First off, wonderful writing. I liked how you wrote the parts only in a way someone who watches the show or reads the manga could know what you ment. It highlights you attention to detail.

Second, grammer seemed fine here, just a few things, Hyuuga not Hyuga. Simple mistake, everyone makes them.

Third, I think it was in #15 that you wrote 'it was the happieness day of her life.' Obviously it's happiest and you probably just missed it.

Over all though, it was very good second draft, published of course, and should you need a beta at some point I am willing to help depending on what the subject is. Good luck on your other writings.
8/27/2007 c1 RI100014
lol. Well Naruto, you have just proven your heritage even more. You are indeed a bastard, a fatherless and even motherless orphan. Having an illigament child with your co-worker while you propose to the girl whom you'd shared trust and a bed with. I can't believe the nerve of the boy. An affair is one thing, screwing over an innocent child with a questionable parentage is another. And you'd think with his own childhood he'd know better. I pity Ino and his child's future.

Till next time... adios.
7/26/2007 c1 2Judicium
that was a great story, I really liked it. It was really subtle and left me to think for a bit i loved it.
7/24/2007 c1 Plus-44
aw, how come like the last 5 NaruIno stories i have read all were about them being in love, but ending up with other people?

anways, great job, i dont usually like one shots either, but this one was really exceptional! good job, and good luck in the future!
7/24/2007 c1 ShinobiFighter
AWESOME!
7/23/2007 c1 Izzy
Eh, it would've been better if ya proofread it, too many grammatical errors.
7/23/2007 c1 4Fragrant Ink
um can u explain the story to me? did naruto marry ino or hinata and whos child was it...
7/23/2007 c1 Watashi No Sukinahito
I like it! it was sweet. Ja ne! ^-^
7/23/2007 c1 the grey mage
i agree. but why not use this as a plot line and write the story? and was ino's kid narutos?
7/22/2007 c1 29Zephyrus-Prime
"Mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery."

I think that to be truthful amongst writers who are essentially "stealing" original works from the "hard-working" authors.

Myself, I find it amusing whenever someone cries "Plagiarism!" when they find a fic too close to their own. I appreciate your candor and your honesty. Not many would even do me the courtesy of letting me know they were posting a fic.

As such, I thank you for the acknowledgement in your fic, and also thank you for thinking my writing good enough to be "plagiarized". All that I ask of authors is that they slap my name in there somewhere. I'm an attention whore, what can I say?

Thanks again for the flattery, and I'll be keeping an eye out for anymore of your stuff.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Xenocide

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