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for I Won't Say I'm In Love

8/15/2007 c4 13dokidokibunni
Heh Xemnas and the muffins! ROFL!
8/15/2007 c2 dokidokibunni
Fluff! Yay, fluff! I thrive on it!

Awsome job!

:D Ps. Zexy can cook HAHAHAHHAH! srry im done!

:D

XD
8/15/2007 c1 dokidokibunni
Ha! Nah Axel and Larxy dont' scare me!

Great job with the I'm hoping that this get even better!

:D
8/15/2007 c1 4captaincreeds
No chance, no way. I won't say it, no, no... It's to cliche...

-carries on singing-

Not just a great title, great story ;) Keep it up!
8/7/2007 c2 someone
Two things wrong in two chapters. 1)Larxene being the main character needs to have motive to her actions. The more motives base on the original game plotline the better. 2) Always, ALWAYS try to keep characters within character. You can develop them throughout the story to eventually diverge from the original character as long as its reasonable. You have Larxene magically becoming a flirt and a slut when in the game she's a sadist and is more than capable of defending herself from any aggressor. Marluxia is a power-hungry, coup-organizing flower boy; not necessarily a rapist. Axel is arrogant, but will play the hero if he has proper reason (him saving Sora for the sake of his best friend Roxas). You actually do have Axel down well enough, though I don't know why he was near Marluxia's room to begin with.
8/6/2007 c7 jgsparks
Loved the ending:) and i like the songs, i will listen to them when my sound works:)
8/4/2007 c7 1lafayette722
It's over!No!I loved the ending,and if I remember I will try to listen to that song!
8/4/2007 c7 104The Light's Refrain
Hello again! LOL, I loved the part where the rest of the Org randomly joined Demyx's singing :P. I liked how it ended too, with Axel and Lar confessing on the beach.

Gripes are only minor ones. The part that says:

"Suddenly he felt cool, GENTLE lips on his. He opened his eyes and saw Larxene place her arms around his neck as she kissed him GENTLY"

The stuff I capitalized was stuff I thought was redundant.

And while the song was awesome, I think you repeated the last phrase a couple too many times. Perhaps that's how often the chorus repeats in the actual song, but here it feels redundant.I

I greatly enjoyed this story. I think you should do a Zexion/Demyx friendship story some time.

Cya!
8/4/2007 c7 1Sunset Guardian
first I would like to say that I'm deeply honored that you dedicated a chapter of this awesome story to me! it was an awesome chapter, very action packed! aw the story is over...But I just love happy endings! lol.The organization singing and dancing, priceless! Perfect ending in my opinion. so fluffy! very good ending to a very good story!
8/4/2007 c7 sonic10235
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA this is the most funniest story i read in a long time. is there roxas showing up soon in thios story?
8/4/2007 c1 Huhuu
Hahahaha!

SAD SALT! That was so funny!

Great story!

Larxene and Axel are so cute togerher!
8/3/2007 c6 jgsparks
I know i'm awesome, what can i say...im one of a kind;)

Axel Better be ok!
8/3/2007 c3 1lafayette722
I can't wait for chapter 7.
8/3/2007 c6 104The Light's Refrain
Nice work on the fight scenes, though the dialogue could use a little more work. I also liked Zexion's comment about having to solve everyone's problems :P.

Nasty blow Axel took there. Hope he'll be okay. Either way Lar's probably gonna be planning some very nasty tortures for Mar :D.

Cya!
8/3/2007 c5 The Light's Refrain
I loved how Luxord acts in this chapter, with the smug attitude and the "Just-Try-To-Beat-Me-I-Know-You-Want-You" challenge. That bit about Xigbar selling out info on Lar's diary was hilarious XDD. Heh, I wonder if the ATM's broken b/c Saix got fed up with it or it was a casuality of Saix's thrashing of Demyx. But I digress...

Speaking of the Melodious Nocturne, he and Zexion were classic in this chapter, as always. The scheme could only be concocted by Demyx :P. I was wondering what the heck you meant by the signing statues until that point though. You might want to clarify that there are statues that shouldn't be singing but are beforehand though, outside the quick comment.

Which brings me to my two quick gripes. First, the (comment)

about how you usually don't describe outfits has absolutely nothing with the story, and has no business being there. Second, the ending line feels off. I think maybe there should be something about her feeling absolutely frustrated that she can't control her 'nonexistant' emotions, even though she likes of 'feeling' of love.

Cya in a little bit!
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