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11/12/2007 c11 4lovespeaks2me
That was a definite improvement. I could see thought process and I'm choking on something burning in the kitchen. Nevermind. Now for everything else: I really like Elizabeth's reaction. Since I have yet to see Sarah and what you will do for her, I can't make judgement. In another fanfic I read, Will thought the same thing... "I'm going to kill him...". It was directed toward Robin. I found it inappropriate, but because Will was directing this toward Guy. I liked it. Because Will wouldn't use the words lightly. He would have to really feel something in order for those words to even cross his mind. And I found the situation fairly appropriate. Since I'm not in the mood to really bite down and tell you what was off, and since there's nothing major that needs fixing anyway, I will just leave this review at that.
11/12/2007 c11 23ness345
And an AMAZING job you did of his expression too :D so awesome, hope he doesnt get hurt and he rescues Djaq all romantically :D Cant wait for your next chapter. LOVE your story :D:D:D
11/12/2007 c11 lekopoet
Ah! You are killing the will/djaq fangirls with suspense!

I like it though. It is obvious that djaq isn't going to die...because then everyone wouldn't like you anymore ;)

Update soon please!

11/12/2007 c11 23WanderingWhisperer
The chapter was a little short so please write more soon!
11/12/2007 c11 14The Devil Wears Westwood
so you actaully used what i wrote. I am loving this. update, well, it is my turn i suppose, so i will finish the short stuff, and do my next disclaimer.
11/6/2007 c10 23ness345
Oh, cliffy. This story KICKS ASS! Please do more soon. I want to see Wills reaction :D
11/4/2007 c10 Lenawalker
A bloody and still djaq? and you tell me not to worry, that's asking a bit much.

More please! Soon! Like, now!
11/3/2007 c10 23WanderingWhisperer
No! Don't kill Djaq, plz update it soon!
11/3/2007 c5 WanderingWhisperer
Wow! That chapter was the best so far.
11/3/2007 c10 4lovespeaks2me
Uh... let me try explaining again. Sarah and Elizabeth have too much in common to be sisters. Okay, here, this is a suggestion I should have thought up ages ago: Create a mannerism/hobby/anything that will seperate these two sisters from being one person. For instance- my sister is ultra-conservative when it comes to lifestyle, I am a social butterfly and am very liberal. Just because it's always so hard for me to discern who is who.

The story is definitely getting better, the chapter seemed a bit short. I'm so contradictory on these things. One minute I LIKE short chapters, the next I want LONG chapters. What the flip! I can tell that you want the story to progress, but you might want to stop and describe things a bit, to really draw out the readers empathetic side. Pulling at the heartstrings and such. Like, why is Much helping her, what was his train of thought that caused him to decide on helping Elizabeth? And Will, along with his thoughts, describe how desperately his running is toward camp. Words are power. Use that power that you have. And of course, in the last scene, be a bit more descriptive of the reactions and what they saw. Where did the blood come from? What wounds and how did the wounds look? That kind of stuff. Either way, I want to read more.

Gosh, I'm long-winded.
11/3/2007 c10 VDGAV'sEvilTwinSister
ah. intersting. very good and i say i have to agree with my brother on this. keep turning on Marian66 will you? and just a note, VDGAV and are sharing his account from now on, and whenever he reviews i review as well.

11/2/2007 c10 Mira's-Lot

I am very surprised that my sister didn't yell at you... Anyhow, very good job. Not being so good of a goody goody are we? At last, something that is evil enough for me to say, Brilliant. I never really expected you, my sister "best fanfic friend" to turn so drastically on her, and over to the Dark Side of Gisbourne and Vaysey.

Well, I must say, you do have a way of toying with Will and Djaqs' feelings for each other. Just as in the same way does my siter for Robin/Marian and myself for Gisbourne/Marian.

And finally, you might want to change that little "Marian66, don't you dare kill Djaq!" And here is two good reasons why:

Marain- Keep swearing that it's on, and that means things aren't good.

Me- That is something I would do... in fact, that I have planned. Didn't she tell you about the new Fic that I am planning? Well, anyhow, you might want to find out what else she is keeping from you. And it was my idea in the first place to have her kill Djaq in the sequel of Forest Royals, but no. Her being the "Oh, everybody should live except Gisbourne and Vaysey" self, she went and changed it. Though I know she is going to pull the biggest stunt of all time on all of us. A new Fan Fic Story is in place...

Update, I am really looking forward to a story for the first time ever. Keep it on seven, I... (and Marian)... want to see Will go Bazurka.

Alan of Dale (Aka. Alan Hernandez)and Davenia.
11/2/2007 c10 12spinkle22
it's good, but i have a teeny question... what is the relationship between Will and Elizabeth? i'm not sure if i missed something somewhere along the line or if you're keeping us in suspense! on the other hand, please carry on writing and answer my quesiton somehow! :D
11/2/2007 c10 emma
really good, especially the cliffhangers. I really want to know why will is so protective of lizzie an sarah. Excellent so far
11/2/2007 c10 Casperace13
don't leave us in supense. that is so mean.
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