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for Next Generation

2/27/2008 c3 8x.BadWolfRose.x
i don't know what went on here,

firstly, who is "savannah?" If you changed Sophia's name to savannah you should say so, or go back and change it.

secondly, 'anyways' isn't a word. the word is anyway. Bad grammar makes me twitchy. sorry

overall this seemed very rushed, like you couldn't really be bothered. If you don't want to write a story then stop, and write about something else, but take more time over it. This chapter seemed like it was written by a completely different author to the first chapter, which i really enjoyed (apart from the bit in the middle with albus talking to himself which really should be sorted out)

I know this is an overally harsh review, i'm sorry. just trying to be helpful. My advice is to ditch this story if you don't enjoy it and write something else. I think you have real potential if you found a subject you were passionate about. If you do want to carry on the story, slow down and take your time! don't rush it because it shows.
8/20/2007 c1 6Mikani Arami
It's really sweet, i hope you continue ^^
8/15/2007 c1 14bcsbookworm
wait wait wait! you can't just stop here! Please continue!
8/15/2007 c1 10Slytherin-Dracomione024
I don't think this story is half bad...actually I LOVE IT! I hope you continue with this. Simply amazing this is., really...it is!
8/15/2007 c1 8x.BadWolfRose.x

scorpius is so cute.

this is a good fic, apart from a bit in the middle where albus seems to be talking to himself?

otherwise, i loved it :)
8/15/2007 c1 8Lynn8687
This is a promising story, with a good start. Please continue to update. I am intrigued to know how this story goes.
8/15/2007 c1 5Black Butterfly13
:) Love it! Sounds so god. Update soon!


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