
2/4/2012 c2
1Dammit Jane
Hey. This story looked really good, and I was looking foward to reading it, but you MUST proof read. You are missing SO many words that understanding it is VERY difficult. It has potential, but I won't read the rest because of how little sense it makes.

Hey. This story looked really good, and I was looking foward to reading it, but you MUST proof read. You are missing SO many words that understanding it is VERY difficult. It has potential, but I won't read the rest because of how little sense it makes.
4/22/2011 c2 n
seriously, ur grammar n english usage needs much more practise.
seriously, ur grammar n english usage needs much more practise.
10/31/2010 c1 nikki
I like where this is
Going but you might want to go back and finsh most of ur sentces. I'm sorry if I sound rude but you stoped writting half way through a sentnce.
I like where this is
Going but you might want to go back and finsh most of ur sentces. I'm sorry if I sound rude but you stoped writting half way through a sentnce.
10/18/2010 c1 hatergirl
man i don't andrestand anyting you're maiking so many misteiks that is anoying to read it
man i don't andrestand anyting you're maiking so many misteiks that is anoying to read it
9/16/2010 c2
26aero13
Plot is fine. But, I read through it, and words were missing. I could find what you wanted there, but it would be neater if they were there.

Plot is fine. But, I read through it, and words were missing. I could find what you wanted there, but it would be neater if they were there.
1/1/2010 c2
28Writing Keeper
You have some missing words... is there something wrong with your computer?

You have some missing words... is there something wrong with your computer?
7/30/2009 c1
3RavenUchiha
You have a good story base. Though I have noticed that you left a LOT of unfinished sentences and mispelled words. Try to ask a friend or someone to proof read your story so that won't happen again.

You have a good story base. Though I have noticed that you left a LOT of unfinished sentences and mispelled words. Try to ask a friend or someone to proof read your story so that won't happen again.
6/24/2009 c1 obsessed-kunai
very good plot but you might want to reread it , some parts didnt make sense
very good plot but you might want to reread it , some parts didnt make sense
5/10/2009 c2 tigers16
either your english is terrible or you mean to do that but if you are then please stop!
either your english is terrible or you mean to do that but if you are then please stop!
3/15/2009 c5
1Littlecupoframen
this is a very good story.
here are some more japanese foods for reference
- tempura
-sushi
-dango (sweet dumplings, Itachi's favorite)
- Sake (japanese beer)
-Chirashi ( I think its a rice bowl with veggies and meat..or a kind of soup?)
-Onigiri (rice balls, often filled with fish or meats)

this is a very good story.
here are some more japanese foods for reference
- tempura
-sushi
-dango (sweet dumplings, Itachi's favorite)
- Sake (japanese beer)
-Chirashi ( I think its a rice bowl with veggies and meat..or a kind of soup?)
-Onigiri (rice balls, often filled with fish or meats)
11/29/2008 c1
1KaiKi09
i was wondering are you purposly leaving words out because it is a bit confusing for me

i was wondering are you purposly leaving words out because it is a bit confusing for me
9/28/2008 c1 Narutolover
love it, just like sasuke may be
love it, just like sasuke may be