for Rejection of Love can kill you4/17/2019 c37 
8Oleonetta
There are many aspects of this story that are rather inconsistent, bewildering, and rather Ludicrous, however, there are many positive aspects of this story such as it's potential involving the plot, the general idea, and the story as a whole. The structure of the sentences and paragraphs needs much work, having to guess the correct sentence or the correct words that should have been used affect the reading enjoyment. I spent too much time rereading paragraphs as I was unable to process it the first time around. As a reader I should be able to read the story fluently and take it in first time, being able to do this greatly affected my enjoyment of this story.
There were many, what I call 'eyebrow raising' moments. Such as: Why Draco's parents felt it unnecessary to tell Draco he was a Veela before he turned into a Veela, the fact that touch causes Draco pain if himself or Harry is touched and yet he feels no pain when Ron is punched by one of them, the fact they both shout 'that's my aura' but how would they know what the hell their aura looks like, the fact that Lucius is suddenly perfectly fine and well after being told he is in critical condition, and one of the big ones - what the hell was Hagrid thinking during that Magical Creatures lesson- it seemed extremely out of character mayhem of a lesson that could have been done much better. In terms of that lesson alone during Chapter 7, I also remember Ron being mean to Draco, and Harry should have been there having only spoken to run a few seconds ago so why didn't he stand up for Draco when Hagrid blamed him for the fight between Draco and Ron. That was one of my major head banging moments. I am safe to say madam pomfrey in this story annoys the hell out of me, i always hate it when she forces Draco and Harry apart when it's clearly the best thing for them. It's like her and Dumbledore sometimes are so stupid. I'd also like to point out that in most fanfictions veela are far from weak creatures, in fact in many stories they possess immense strength and are feared.
Other things to mention include: how out of character the characters were, and the scene changes in the story were unclear and sometimes confusing.
I did enjoy the story to some degree, and yes, it wasn't all bad. The story kept my attention and interest enough but I was able to read to the end, to read all the chapters. For the most part I really enjoyed the story and could see it's immense potential if the ridiculous parts we're edited and perhaps changed. A few tweaks and I could see this being an amazing story as it stands, I would say it was a good story but just needed a bit of work. I know it's probably been many years since the story was published, and I have left a rather long review, but in the end if you see this review I hope it will only help advise you on feature stories. Thank you for giving us the chance to read this story anyhow xxx
8OleonettaThere are many aspects of this story that are rather inconsistent, bewildering, and rather Ludicrous, however, there are many positive aspects of this story such as it's potential involving the plot, the general idea, and the story as a whole. The structure of the sentences and paragraphs needs much work, having to guess the correct sentence or the correct words that should have been used affect the reading enjoyment. I spent too much time rereading paragraphs as I was unable to process it the first time around. As a reader I should be able to read the story fluently and take it in first time, being able to do this greatly affected my enjoyment of this story.
There were many, what I call 'eyebrow raising' moments. Such as: Why Draco's parents felt it unnecessary to tell Draco he was a Veela before he turned into a Veela, the fact that touch causes Draco pain if himself or Harry is touched and yet he feels no pain when Ron is punched by one of them, the fact they both shout 'that's my aura' but how would they know what the hell their aura looks like, the fact that Lucius is suddenly perfectly fine and well after being told he is in critical condition, and one of the big ones - what the hell was Hagrid thinking during that Magical Creatures lesson- it seemed extremely out of character mayhem of a lesson that could have been done much better. In terms of that lesson alone during Chapter 7, I also remember Ron being mean to Draco, and Harry should have been there having only spoken to run a few seconds ago so why didn't he stand up for Draco when Hagrid blamed him for the fight between Draco and Ron. That was one of my major head banging moments. I am safe to say madam pomfrey in this story annoys the hell out of me, i always hate it when she forces Draco and Harry apart when it's clearly the best thing for them. It's like her and Dumbledore sometimes are so stupid. I'd also like to point out that in most fanfictions veela are far from weak creatures, in fact in many stories they possess immense strength and are feared.
Other things to mention include: how out of character the characters were, and the scene changes in the story were unclear and sometimes confusing.
I did enjoy the story to some degree, and yes, it wasn't all bad. The story kept my attention and interest enough but I was able to read to the end, to read all the chapters. For the most part I really enjoyed the story and could see it's immense potential if the ridiculous parts we're edited and perhaps changed. A few tweaks and I could see this being an amazing story as it stands, I would say it was a good story but just needed a bit of work. I know it's probably been many years since the story was published, and I have left a rather long review, but in the end if you see this review I hope it will only help advise you on feature stories. Thank you for giving us the chance to read this story anyhow xxx
10/11/2018 c12 Guest
honestly I think this is an incredibly stupid I don't mind this silk bonding but seriously that they never talked about this before that draco or didn't know what was expected or what to anticipate and honestly the sexy was just too fast and just felt like it was tacked on to the end if you're going to do it do it right or just gloss over it
honestly I think this is an incredibly stupid I don't mind this silk bonding but seriously that they never talked about this before that draco or didn't know what was expected or what to anticipate and honestly the sexy was just too fast and just felt like it was tacked on to the end if you're going to do it do it right or just gloss over it
10/11/2018 c9 Guest
I think it's stupid that the ritual is done in the dream
But overall I like the story
I think it's stupid that the ritual is done in the dream
But overall I like the story
5/31/2018 c37 SexiiFoxii
Wooooooooow. Talk about an emotional ride bloody hell. I can believe i finished it in 3 hrs though. Time goes by fast when enjoying a good read. Loved it.
Wooooooooow. Talk about an emotional ride bloody hell. I can believe i finished it in 3 hrs though. Time goes by fast when enjoying a good read. Loved it.
6/27/2017 c20 8HarryPotterFangirl85
Poor Draco. I don't want him anywhere near Hermione and Ron after the way they have treated him.
8HarryPotterFangirl85Poor Draco. I don't want him anywhere near Hermione and Ron after the way they have treated him.
1/27/2017 c37 circella
omfg holy shit that was intense holy shiiiiiitt.
omfg holy shit that was intense holy shiiiiiitt.
9/14/2016 c37 1414artemis14
This was awesooooome thank you for an great adventure.
It was one of them best stories I have ever read and I am glad that I clicked it.
This was awesooooome thank you for an great adventure.
It was one of them best stories I have ever read and I am glad that I clicked it.
3/20/2016 c37 Guest
omg, AH- MAZING!
omg, AH- MAZING!
3/16/2016 c37 Guest
Oh. My. Fucking. God. That was a goddamn roller coaster. I want to scream for a million years. So much emotion, Merlin, I cannot handle it. That. Was. So. Chaotic. Oh. My. God. Congratulations, you made me cry. To be completely honest though, there were some chapters that kind of made me unsure if I wanted to continue reading. Not because of the dark or sad side of it, definitely not (I got through Twist & Shout after all). But it sort of felt like some things were rushed just to get to the ending. Overall, I liked it enough to have hope (otherwise I wouldn't have finished it) and I thank you. I am aware it was been a while since you wrote this and I'm sure your writing skills have advanced and that pleases me greatly. I hope you still enjoy writing.
~J.A. Temple
Oh. My. Fucking. God. That was a goddamn roller coaster. I want to scream for a million years. So much emotion, Merlin, I cannot handle it. That. Was. So. Chaotic. Oh. My. God. Congratulations, you made me cry. To be completely honest though, there were some chapters that kind of made me unsure if I wanted to continue reading. Not because of the dark or sad side of it, definitely not (I got through Twist & Shout after all). But it sort of felt like some things were rushed just to get to the ending. Overall, I liked it enough to have hope (otherwise I wouldn't have finished it) and I thank you. I am aware it was been a while since you wrote this and I'm sure your writing skills have advanced and that pleases me greatly. I hope you still enjoy writing.
~J.A. Temple