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8/21/2009 c1 xCan'tStopTheNeedForBloodx
Great, you have 2 write more
9/28/2007 c1 41Hannah554
I really like the start of this, hope you write more soon!
9/20/2007 c1 9mktoronto
This chapter is really well written. The way they discover their feelings for one another is realistic and beautiful. You have a wonderful way with words.

The only problem I'm having is that they would wait to physically consummate their relationship. I get that you're leading into the events of Heroes and want to raise the stakes as much as possible. However, they're both in jobs where everything can change in a moment and having known each other for years, and knowing their temperaments, I find it hard to believe they'd waste any time.

I'm curious to see where it is going.
9/18/2007 c1 Cole J
What a lovely sense of romance you have! I found myself reading hungrily, anticipating each new sentence.

There are a few formatting issues where a comma or space between words would fix the situation - nothing big. And there was one metaphor that bothered me: “drop the ball and run for it” – we would normally say "grab the ball and run for it" (as in American football). Other than that, I have nothing but good things to say about your first chapter - the first of many to come, I hope!

So, you're off to a fabulous start and I want MORE very soon! Thanks so much for sharing at this early stage in your story's development!

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