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9/1/2019 c1 Guest
Fucking amazing. ‘Her wretched father had caught them having sex and shipped her off to China.’ Oh I love you so fucking much thank you.
4/14/2013 c1 13Dark Lord Ganondorf
Great story. I love a good yuri smut fic. Especially if they have a lemon (or two) in them. The only problem I saw was that there was just one huge paragraph in the middle, and a few spelling mistakes. But other than that, it was great.
7/18/2009 c2 Ryuu Kuro
this is the first dtory of yours that i have read but i personly like smut buy you are right in one thing you could add a bit of a story line and keep the smut. as for the grammer just reread your story to fix them.
6/25/2008 c1 lord of gore
er isnt that illegal...oh well andscrew the law cause yuri kick ass keep writen
5/15/2008 c1 1blackinugirl61
I really have to say, that was some of the worst lemon writing I ever has the displeasure of reading. I thought that I would give a weird pairing a try (and a yuri pairing no less), but this has taken away some of my love for story experimentation. Do you even read what you're writing? How about proof reading? SPELL CHECKER?

Your story has huge holes with OOCness, plot and basic emotions presented in a lemon. It's not all just "Hey let's have sex you random person I think my brother knows!" The sex part was just bad. Really bad. It sounds like a fourteen year old nerd wrote this for him and his friends to play soggy biscuit with. I'm not an expert on sex, but I've had my share of experiences to tell enough that it's no rinse, lather, repeat process.

I haven't posted a lot of my lemony stuff here, but after reading this, I feel like I should.
1/8/2008 c1 Neko-Kata-Sama
second time I have reviewed you, nice story, keep writing more they are interesting to read, I have a few stories I have written, just too lazy to type them up AGAIN yea my computer died and all I have are 25 page friggen print outs of them. Anyways good story ^_^
9/20/2007 c1 Shigure Haven
YOU ARE THE KISUKE URAHARA OF BLEACH YURI SMUT! I luff this! I feel bad though, not a single yuri fic have i written... OH! I KNO! I competetion! YEAH! I have never thought of a YoruKari! You're like a fricking genius!

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