for Hidden Love10/13/2007 c1 
3NickSparkss
Yay! A story with Aido as the main character! I really like the pairing and your writing style, so I await the next update! ^_^
3NickSparkssYay! A story with Aido as the main character! I really like the pairing and your writing style, so I await the next update! ^_^
10/11/2007 c1 yuki kuran
sweet good work i'd love u to write a 2 chap
sweet good work i'd love u to write a 2 chap
10/11/2007 c1 14Tsuki of the Roselight
Okay...This is a really good story. The writing is very fluent and fun to read. The plot is also good (I love Yori!) but...It's very fast and doesn't explain much.
I mean he has seen Yuki with Yori in the manga so why does he fall for her now? Also the dialogue is good you shouldn't put them in the paragraphs since its hard to read. My last advice is to put in more detail and more events instead of just hoping to one subject to another.
I hope you don't think this is a flame! I like how you write it, no spelling or grammer mistakes, and your voice makes it interesting, it goes perfectly with the plot! It's really good! I just wanted to give you some "constructive critism" (Man I think I spelled it wrong)
14Tsuki of the RoselightOkay...This is a really good story. The writing is very fluent and fun to read. The plot is also good (I love Yori!) but...It's very fast and doesn't explain much.
I mean he has seen Yuki with Yori in the manga so why does he fall for her now? Also the dialogue is good you shouldn't put them in the paragraphs since its hard to read. My last advice is to put in more detail and more events instead of just hoping to one subject to another.
I hope you don't think this is a flame! I like how you write it, no spelling or grammer mistakes, and your voice makes it interesting, it goes perfectly with the plot! It's really good! I just wanted to give you some "constructive critism" (Man I think I spelled it wrong)