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7/23/2009 c20 7medievalruins
"He just said, piss on it all, and piss on you, Minerva Mcgonagall, and AK’d himself right up in the face.

Better luck next time, Snaperdoodle."

Roflrofl.

"The rest is strictly non-canon."

Not true. He died a virgin in DH, too.
7/22/2009 c19 medievalruins
"...he’s also 6’2, and 200 pounds of blood-traitor steel."

Blood traitors aren't made of steel, they're made of dung.

"...and instead watched his father get served."

Oh, poor Lucius.

"“That’s the coolest use of a textbook I’ve ever seen!” George volunteered.

Hermione looked scandalized."

And that, dear readers, is why it took that chick 7 years to get her ass out of the library and kiss a boy.
7/22/2009 c18 medievalruins
ROFLROFL oh man.
7/22/2009 c17 medievalruins
"Poor misguided Percy."

Just like that Hermione.

"Legend has it that Malfoy sneered so much during school, that later in life, the muscles in his face had seized up into a perpetual sneer."

Nice :P

"Malfoy stuck to his textbook reply, having nothing better to say: “My father will hear about this!”"

THAT NEVER GETS OLD.

"“I didn’t know you were smart enough to have a sense of humor,” Malfoy questioned."

I didn't know you could read.

"At least the Slytherin’s knew how to relax properly."

YEAH BITCH!

"“OH WHO AM I KIDDING? I WANT POTTER INSIDE ME AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS.”"

In case you were wondering, my heart just imploded, eyes bled, and eardrums burst. Also, I have a funny feeling that my spleen suffered mild damage from all the laughing.

"The last time someone was gay, a mudblood died."

ROFLROFL.

I got the boots joke, but it's way old.

And you were right, I LOVE THIS. Definitely way up there.
7/22/2009 c16 medievalruins
Ah, yet another of Trelawney's great foreshadowing predictions. Gotta love it.

"Give it a few months."

Haha!
7/22/2009 c15 medievalruins
"“So I hear you’re pretty gangster”

Harry stared.

“I’m pretty gangster myself,” she said nodding"

You're right. That avatar was one of pure genius.

"“Sorry, Dumbledore’s man through and through,” which, coincidentally would be his catchphrase next year. But he didn’t know that."

That was gold, smothered in honey, and topped with whipped cream.
7/22/2009 c14 medievalruins
"That’s right you twisted Snarry writers. YOU JUST GOT REFERENCED."

AHH, no!

"It would seem that Capslock! Harry would come out to play one more time before dying forever."

Dude, who doesn't love a bit of Capslock!Harry ever now and again?

Warning: The following will be a flood of the many brilliant lines of comedy in this chapter that made me laugh out loud.

"“YOU PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND ME. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME.”"

"Harry strode up to him, all balls, “Let’s do this thing,” nodding at Voldy’s wand."

"...I’m not trying to eat your brains, though I wouldn’t mind a pinch at that nubile young arse of yours”"

"It’s first victim was that damned Colin Creevey kid, always getting in the way and such.

Seriously, you wondered how that kid went? This was it, man. The Giant Squid violently destroyed him, and nobody cried. No, seriously, nobody was sad to see that Creevey kid go."

Couldn't resist, could you?

"“Haha, take that Jesus!”"

"“SURPRISE, COCKFACE”"

This chapter was probably one of my favourites.
7/22/2009 c13 medievalruins
"Harry was still shitting bricks over Lucius Malfoy ... "

I've always found that to be a delightfully hilarious expression.

"“Neat,” Harry said aloud."

I seriously think he should've said "Bitchin'." I mean, that was a classic AVMP!Ron moment. But, I guess, for the purpose that it was Harry's line, it's okay that you didn't do it. Also for the purpose that the musical came out months after this was written :P
7/22/2009 c12 medievalruins
"“SHIT YEAH! IN YOUR FACE HARRY!”"

Oh, man.

"And Hermione still thought Wizard’s Chess was barbaric and turned people into violent idiots. Poor misguided Hermione."

Very nice :D

WIZARD PEOPLE, DEAR READER REFERENCE! YEYE!

Oh, lovely.
7/22/2009 c11 medievalruins
"Sweet little bastard in’he?"

Yes. xD
7/22/2009 c10 medievalruins
“Quidditch…. Life… Quidditch equals Life… Formula broken…” Harry choked in between sobs."

Oh, you've done it again.

"Harry started, and looked up like he had been slapped in the face. He realized that he had just fucked up.

“… Less?” he said in as small a voice as he could manage."

AND AGAIN!
7/22/2009 c9 medievalruins
"Harry completely ignored the foreshadowing."

NAICE!

I feel as though I'm running out of creative ways to review, so I'm just going to start quoting my favourite lines from the chapter and nodding appreciatively. Sound good?
7/22/2009 c8 medievalruins
Okay, I have a couple of points for this one.

1) Monty Python references ftw!

2) Gave Harry your favourite colour, much? :P

3) You should have put in Fleur's and did what happened in the movie where the third question was completely bizarre.

Nice one, anyway. I liked it :D
7/22/2009 c7 medievalruins
WHAOSHORT!

Nice idea for this one, though. Cheering charm...
7/22/2009 c6 medievalruins
Oh man, well, I'd do anything for cheese!

"Good thing that Diggory boy’s gonna die, since he’s your only competition after all…"

The Sorting Hat is a Seer now? Guess it could give Trelawny a run for her money.

Who doesn't love a bit of Hufflepuff bashing?
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