for Getting Him Back11/17/2007 c3 
2x.hpmadness.x
wel i love you idea of the story but umm a bit of a rush like ! too many i don't really feel the romance it should have and Lucas sis name is lily it a beautiful name you shouldn't change it and umm payton well in total it love it but to rush like all the info is poor to you at once
2x.hpmadness.xwel i love you idea of the story but umm a bit of a rush like ! too many i don't really feel the romance it should have and Lucas sis name is lily it a beautiful name you shouldn't change it and umm payton well in total it love it but to rush like all the info is poor to you at once
11/6/2007 c1 17SophiaBushFan
You know, I don't mean to judge but this story seems VERY similar to mine, "Charity Events and Basketball Games". Tell me, where did you find the inspiration for this story?
17SophiaBushFanYou know, I don't mean to judge but this story seems VERY similar to mine, "Charity Events and Basketball Games". Tell me, where did you find the inspiration for this story?
10/25/2007 c1 INACTIVEACCOUNT243095
I definitely agree with baristagrl. What are you thinking? Anyone who has picked up a book or short story ever, or read any of the decent stories on here MUST admit this is just-bad bad bad.
You charterizations are poorly developed and unbelievable-ENTIRELY unbelievable and unconvincing. Have you ever even watched the SHOW? You couldn't have or you'd KNOW how their characterizations are.
You have ZERO grasp on plot or development. Nothing is rationalized and it was clearly just slapped up here, half-assed. This is so ridiculously awful I laughed too, just as baristagrl did. I thought it was a joke!
Why even post it in OTH or use the characters names, beucase it is clear you know nothing about who they are or what they're like.
I definitely agree with baristagrl. What are you thinking? Anyone who has picked up a book or short story ever, or read any of the decent stories on here MUST admit this is just-bad bad bad.
You charterizations are poorly developed and unbelievable-ENTIRELY unbelievable and unconvincing. Have you ever even watched the SHOW? You couldn't have or you'd KNOW how their characterizations are.
You have ZERO grasp on plot or development. Nothing is rationalized and it was clearly just slapped up here, half-assed. This is so ridiculously awful I laughed too, just as baristagrl did. I thought it was a joke!
Why even post it in OTH or use the characters names, beucase it is clear you know nothing about who they are or what they're like.
10/22/2007 c2 6pryingeyes
oh man i'm sorry but i couldnt stop laughing through your whole story and thats not a good thing. its just your writing is so forced and fake. not to mention the characters are completly OOC. you should definetely read some other stories and see how things should be written. not trying to be mean just giving some constructive criticizme
6pryingeyesoh man i'm sorry but i couldnt stop laughing through your whole story and thats not a good thing. its just your writing is so forced and fake. not to mention the characters are completly OOC. you should definetely read some other stories and see how things should be written. not trying to be mean just giving some constructive criticizme