for Bitterness1/23/2008 c4 
9brezo-1816
Great stuff, as expected. One thing though:
"Emily, this sentence makes no sense whatsoever."
I'm guessing your beta wrote that. It looks like you've left it in by accident.
Apart from that tiny detail its all good. Is John next?
9brezo-1816Great stuff, as expected. One thing though:
"Emily, this sentence makes no sense whatsoever."
I'm guessing your beta wrote that. It looks like you've left it in by accident.
Apart from that tiny detail its all good. Is John next?
1/4/2008 c2 brezo-1816
Sorry for the double review but I forgot about the Lady P suggestion. Judging by what you've written so far I think you'd do a chapter for her very well. However, I don't think there's a strong enough connection between her and Alan to make it necassary.
Obviously its up to you. I personally don't think there's much point in writing a chapter for Lady P but if you do write one I'm sure it'll be well done so I won't mind too much.
Sorry for the double review but I forgot about the Lady P suggestion. Judging by what you've written so far I think you'd do a chapter for her very well. However, I don't think there's a strong enough connection between her and Alan to make it necassary.
Obviously its up to you. I personally don't think there's much point in writing a chapter for Lady P but if you do write one I'm sure it'll be well done so I won't mind too much.
1/4/2008 c3 brezo-1816
This is really good. Very well written. I especially loved Scott's chapter. Looking at Virgil's chapter I'm wondering if perhaps Scott is the only one who understands why Alan is the way he is.
Anyway, great stuff - keep it up. I'm especially looking forward to reading John's chapter.
This is really good. Very well written. I especially loved Scott's chapter. Looking at Virgil's chapter I'm wondering if perhaps Scott is the only one who understands why Alan is the way he is.
Anyway, great stuff - keep it up. I'm especially looking forward to reading John's chapter.
1/4/2008 c3 72criminally charmed
I am so glad you decided to continue this. Yes, give everyone a part. You could even give the mother - sort of in spirit - the chance. Can't wait to see Jeff's part. Maybe even Alan can have an out-of-body thing going...
Sad to say, I think of these things. Just go with it...
more soon, please?
72criminally charmedI am so glad you decided to continue this. Yes, give everyone a part. You could even give the mother - sort of in spirit - the chance. Can't wait to see Jeff's part. Maybe even Alan can have an out-of-body thing going...
Sad to say, I think of these things. Just go with it...
more soon, please?
1/3/2008 c3 64epalladino
Really, really insightful and introspective; but you have to carry it further so that more people could have their turn, especially Jeff and Tin-Tin. Also, I'd like to know more about what happened to Alan and if he'll survive. Thanks for an interesting read, Beth Palladino
64epalladinoReally, really insightful and introspective; but you have to carry it further so that more people could have their turn, especially Jeff and Tin-Tin. Also, I'd like to know more about what happened to Alan and if he'll survive. Thanks for an interesting read, Beth Palladino
1/3/2008 c3 jendarra
Why not give Lady P a section, and you really have to do Tin Tin and Gordon.
Excellent
Why not give Lady P a section, and you really have to do Tin Tin and Gordon.
Excellent
1/2/2008 c3 10Digi-Girl101
LOVE IT! UPDATE ASAP! Hmm... I dunno! :P If you wanna give Penny a chappy then go on ahead. If not, then don't :)
10Digi-Girl101LOVE IT! UPDATE ASAP! Hmm... I dunno! :P If you wanna give Penny a chappy then go on ahead. If not, then don't :)
1/2/2008 c3 14Megz McGizzle
Aww these are really good. Not too sure about the Lady P section, but I'm sure you'll do good either way. Looking forward to the other chapters! Maybe you could even do a final chapter where Alan finally wakes up? idk. Great job though :]
14Megz McGizzleAww these are really good. Not too sure about the Lady P section, but I'm sure you'll do good either way. Looking forward to the other chapters! Maybe you could even do a final chapter where Alan finally wakes up? idk. Great job though :]
12/1/2007 c1 64epalladino
Interesting and well written, but screams for a followup. Thanks, Beth Palladino
64epalladinoInteresting and well written, but screams for a followup. Thanks, Beth Palladino
11/28/2007 c1 9Twisted Truth
Very cool. I must wonder though, are you going to write a sequel? Tell us what happened to Alan? Or are you just going to leave us hanging? Whatever you choose, this story is really cool.
9Twisted TruthVery cool. I must wonder though, are you going to write a sequel? Tell us what happened to Alan? Or are you just going to leave us hanging? Whatever you choose, this story is really cool.
11/17/2007 c1 14Drunkenfaries2223
PLease update, seriously this made me cry. I don't know if i want Alan to come out of it, at least not before i hear the other brothers side though i know this is just based sort of on those 3 but it is really good so far but i hope when he does wake up if he ver does that they all have like a heart to heart like they tell him what they were thinking or w/e cuz it was lik heartbreaking in this chapter
14Drunkenfaries2223PLease update, seriously this made me cry. I don't know if i want Alan to come out of it, at least not before i hear the other brothers side though i know this is just based sort of on those 3 but it is really good so far but i hope when he does wake up if he ver does that they all have like a heart to heart like they tell him what they were thinking or w/e cuz it was lik heartbreaking in this chapter
11/14/2007 c1 18shadowfox8
I really liked this. Are you going to continue it or leave it there? Just curious... I think you could make a fine story out of this. Any ideas I would gladly help!
18shadowfox8I really liked this. Are you going to continue it or leave it there? Just curious... I think you could make a fine story out of this. Any ideas I would gladly help!
11/10/2007 c1 Fay.Rosewood
Awe what a sweet story and very well written, its a nice take on all three characters involved. I have to agree with the other reviewers though it doesn't seem done I would love to hear other family members prespectives and find out how it all works out.
Awe what a sweet story and very well written, its a nice take on all three characters involved. I have to agree with the other reviewers though it doesn't seem done I would love to hear other family members prespectives and find out how it all works out.