for Deconstruction5/8/2013 c1 Guest
Woohoo! I just rediscovered this and you bet your ass I'm gonna start re-reading! :D I'm excited!
Woohoo! I just rediscovered this and you bet your ass I'm gonna start re-reading! :D I'm excited!
1/29/2012 c22 Leader of the Nargles
I love this story so far! The plot, the writing style, everything! Even though I don't generally like Akito/Tohru, I enjoy this story.
I love this story so far! The plot, the writing style, everything! Even though I don't generally like Akito/Tohru, I enjoy this story.
1/15/2012 c1 
3Kyuubi-kun666
wow the stories really good so far it caught my attention and its only the first chapter!
3Kyuubi-kun666wow the stories really good so far it caught my attention and its only the first chapter!
8/10/2011 c19 yellowis4happy
*is still eagerly awaiting for what happened at Darren's party to be revealed*
This is an interesting departure from you usual writing style - pretty straight-forward and without the oodles of metaphors and poetic language. Not bad or disappointing or worse or better or whatever, but just interesting.
I always like it when we get to hear more from Kyo. This time around is quite rewarding. (I wish my school had a gym so that someone could paint Spiderman on the ceiling!) His interactions here, his whole attitude, I might have to say that he's the most Kyo-like he's been so far in this story.
Except, wait a second. I can't really say that, because he's never been out of character, so I don't know quite how to explain it. I guess it's kind of like he's the closest he's been to canon Kyo, except this time, you've used your own backstory and your own situations and actions to bring him into being as such.
I don't really know how else to state that, but anyways. Very entertaining. I'm curious to see what Yuki's reaction to the news of the record store was about. The overall flow of the chapter could be a bit better, but other than that, pretty good. Was it mentioned before that Tohru's family is so prudish, or has my ability to retain information reached a new low?
Hopefully this brings us up to 58 reviews, and we can have another update. :]
*is still eagerly awaiting for what happened at Darren's party to be revealed*
This is an interesting departure from you usual writing style - pretty straight-forward and without the oodles of metaphors and poetic language. Not bad or disappointing or worse or better or whatever, but just interesting.
I always like it when we get to hear more from Kyo. This time around is quite rewarding. (I wish my school had a gym so that someone could paint Spiderman on the ceiling!) His interactions here, his whole attitude, I might have to say that he's the most Kyo-like he's been so far in this story.
Except, wait a second. I can't really say that, because he's never been out of character, so I don't know quite how to explain it. I guess it's kind of like he's the closest he's been to canon Kyo, except this time, you've used your own backstory and your own situations and actions to bring him into being as such.
I don't really know how else to state that, but anyways. Very entertaining. I'm curious to see what Yuki's reaction to the news of the record store was about. The overall flow of the chapter could be a bit better, but other than that, pretty good. Was it mentioned before that Tohru's family is so prudish, or has my ability to retain information reached a new low?
Hopefully this brings us up to 58 reviews, and we can have another update. :]
8/10/2011 c18 yellowis4happy
This chapter was interesting. I liked it, but at the same time I'm not sure what to think of Kyoko's backstory. On the one hand, I want to say that it's very, VERY similar to her backstory in canon (although less dramatic), and on the other hand, I wonder how much you can actually change that. It works very well here, but it still makes me wonder.
Anyway, just ponderings, pretty much. On to the next chapter now.
This chapter was interesting. I liked it, but at the same time I'm not sure what to think of Kyoko's backstory. On the one hand, I want to say that it's very, VERY similar to her backstory in canon (although less dramatic), and on the other hand, I wonder how much you can actually change that. It works very well here, but it still makes me wonder.
Anyway, just ponderings, pretty much. On to the next chapter now.
8/10/2011 c17 yellowis4happy
This review is way, WAY overdue, and I'm sorry about that. I kept telling myself I would read this chapter later, and then chapter 18 happened. And then chapter 19 happened. And then I just checked my email and saw that darn chapter 19 still sitting there, and had to do something about it.
I continue to really like Tohru's analogies for love. Her comparing relationships to oceans struck a deep cord in me - I'd never really thought of them like that before, but reading it brought back my first relationship all over again and described it to a T, although I don't think I ever really knew my ex.
That being said, even though that's one of my favorite tidbits of the whole chapter, Tohru's point of view felt rather shoved into the flow of Akito's. I think it's a combination of how short it is, and the fact that the rest of the chapter is entirely from Akito's perspective. The transferral from her POV to Akito's is also a little bumpy and doesn't flow as well as it could.
I want to watch that movie rather badly now.
This review is way, WAY overdue, and I'm sorry about that. I kept telling myself I would read this chapter later, and then chapter 18 happened. And then chapter 19 happened. And then I just checked my email and saw that darn chapter 19 still sitting there, and had to do something about it.
I continue to really like Tohru's analogies for love. Her comparing relationships to oceans struck a deep cord in me - I'd never really thought of them like that before, but reading it brought back my first relationship all over again and described it to a T, although I don't think I ever really knew my ex.
That being said, even though that's one of my favorite tidbits of the whole chapter, Tohru's point of view felt rather shoved into the flow of Akito's. I think it's a combination of how short it is, and the fact that the rest of the chapter is entirely from Akito's perspective. The transferral from her POV to Akito's is also a little bumpy and doesn't flow as well as it could.
I want to watch that movie rather badly now.
1/13/2011 c16 yellowis4happy
I told myself I would read the next update faster than I had the last one (which isn't hard, but still), and haha! I have accomplished my goal.
I'm having a hard time remembering some of what wasn't written recently that had an appearance in this chapter - what happened at Darren's party, and what's the party they're preparing for? I really would go back and reread, but I'm actually supposed to be doing homework...
The section where Tohru is pondering over Akito's gender seemed a bit off to me. I can't say EXACTLY why, but the flow is not quite as smooth as in the rest of the chapter (at least from the quick second glance-through just now while I'm writing this. It could be something else). That might be something you could consider fixing in the future, just for polishing.
I really admire the way you write teenagers. That sounds a bit weird, coming from another teenager, who SHOULD be able to write teenagers herself, but I actually don't know if I can or not, I don't very often. Hmmm. You pull off the drama and the angst really well while also keeping the characters sounding like real people, and not just random depressed brats. I also really like the way you referred to love as an ecosystem, as it was a believable metaphor AND original. The ending was a very nice touch, what with Tohru talking about how she doesn't really know Akito, and then coming out with that comment about how you can't really love someone if you don't know them. It was an effective and nicely subtle double-edged sword, although only in regards to Tohru (since Akito didn't hear all those thoughts concerning her identiy like we did), which I though was intersting. That kind of comment could very easily disrupt her relationship with Akito in the future; I'm curious to see if anything will come of that and what will happen. :]
I told myself I would read the next update faster than I had the last one (which isn't hard, but still), and haha! I have accomplished my goal.
I'm having a hard time remembering some of what wasn't written recently that had an appearance in this chapter - what happened at Darren's party, and what's the party they're preparing for? I really would go back and reread, but I'm actually supposed to be doing homework...
The section where Tohru is pondering over Akito's gender seemed a bit off to me. I can't say EXACTLY why, but the flow is not quite as smooth as in the rest of the chapter (at least from the quick second glance-through just now while I'm writing this. It could be something else). That might be something you could consider fixing in the future, just for polishing.
I really admire the way you write teenagers. That sounds a bit weird, coming from another teenager, who SHOULD be able to write teenagers herself, but I actually don't know if I can or not, I don't very often. Hmmm. You pull off the drama and the angst really well while also keeping the characters sounding like real people, and not just random depressed brats. I also really like the way you referred to love as an ecosystem, as it was a believable metaphor AND original. The ending was a very nice touch, what with Tohru talking about how she doesn't really know Akito, and then coming out with that comment about how you can't really love someone if you don't know them. It was an effective and nicely subtle double-edged sword, although only in regards to Tohru (since Akito didn't hear all those thoughts concerning her identiy like we did), which I though was intersting. That kind of comment could very easily disrupt her relationship with Akito in the future; I'm curious to see if anything will come of that and what will happen. :]
10/1/2010 c15 yellowis4happy
Wow. It's been a long time. And I'm a douche because this update has been sitting in my inbox forever and I've been ignoring it, and I didn't review the last chapter... *shotshot*
Speaking of the last chapter, I did enjoy it immensely. Jazzy is getting so fleshed out he's almost able to rival Akito for "Favorite Character" in my head. :] The mural on the top of the apartment building was a fantastic idea; I'm jealous of your originality.
It HAS been a long time, though, so I had to go back and reread the last part before I could read this chapter, because I tried to read this chapter first and immediately found myself completely and totally lost, haha.
I forgot how much I admire your writing. It's so poetic, and you have this uncanny ability to get right to the heart of your characters. :] The way that Akito reverts back to former habits at the prospect of facing her mother is a great touch, and I love that Kyo is the one who reaches out to her. You've also done an amazing job at keeping her emotional turmoil close to the heart of the story, what with her gender identity and sexuality and such, but I feel like her anorexic tendencies have been somewhat overlooked or too unspecified; I think if you were to ask me what it is exactly her position is on food, I wouldn't be able to say. For a story that really is about people's defunctions, I think that that particular one could be touched on more in the future.
Other than that, I'm glad to be back into the story. :] I say yay to shorter chapters, definitely. It definitely makes reviewing a lot easier, lol.
Wow. It's been a long time. And I'm a douche because this update has been sitting in my inbox forever and I've been ignoring it, and I didn't review the last chapter... *shotshot*
Speaking of the last chapter, I did enjoy it immensely. Jazzy is getting so fleshed out he's almost able to rival Akito for "Favorite Character" in my head. :] The mural on the top of the apartment building was a fantastic idea; I'm jealous of your originality.
It HAS been a long time, though, so I had to go back and reread the last part before I could read this chapter, because I tried to read this chapter first and immediately found myself completely and totally lost, haha.
I forgot how much I admire your writing. It's so poetic, and you have this uncanny ability to get right to the heart of your characters. :] The way that Akito reverts back to former habits at the prospect of facing her mother is a great touch, and I love that Kyo is the one who reaches out to her. You've also done an amazing job at keeping her emotional turmoil close to the heart of the story, what with her gender identity and sexuality and such, but I feel like her anorexic tendencies have been somewhat overlooked or too unspecified; I think if you were to ask me what it is exactly her position is on food, I wouldn't be able to say. For a story that really is about people's defunctions, I think that that particular one could be touched on more in the future.
Other than that, I'm glad to be back into the story. :] I say yay to shorter chapters, definitely. It definitely makes reviewing a lot easier, lol.
8/23/2010 c7 Gene Sama
"You... actually, I don't think there's a word for people like you. And I hope there are never enough of you to require one."
Probably one of the funniest lines I've read thus far haha.
So, sadly, I've been busy with my own stories [and work] and it's been a little bit since I've read this but I couldn't get these characters out of my head.
"You... actually, I don't think there's a word for people like you. And I hope there are never enough of you to require one."
Probably one of the funniest lines I've read thus far haha.
So, sadly, I've been busy with my own stories [and work] and it's been a little bit since I've read this but I couldn't get these characters out of my head.
8/5/2010 c1 boarcrown
I really like this story, it feels so real. I made it all to a movie inside my head, that I repeated again and again. (The descriptions made it REAL.)
And the fact that I managed to listen to a sad song that was repeted under the hole time I read didn't help either... (I was to lazy to turn it off..) I know that I don't make any sense at ALL, so please bear with me.
... I should just put it simply; continue with the story. ^^
I really like this story, it feels so real. I made it all to a movie inside my head, that I repeated again and again. (The descriptions made it REAL.)
And the fact that I managed to listen to a sad song that was repeted under the hole time I read didn't help either... (I was to lazy to turn it off..) I know that I don't make any sense at ALL, so please bear with me.
... I should just put it simply; continue with the story. ^^
7/7/2010 c1 Gene Sama
So this chapter is written so differently from other fics I've read. No need to apologize about the OC, it's written just fine. Can't wait to continue.
So this chapter is written so differently from other fics I've read. No need to apologize about the OC, it's written just fine. Can't wait to continue.
6/16/2010 c1 MissAkito
I am in awe. You've made me fall for Akito all over again with your amazing story. This is the best akito/tohru fanfic I've ever read; and not only that, but one of the best stories that I've ever read, period.
I am in awe. You've made me fall for Akito all over again with your amazing story. This is the best akito/tohru fanfic I've ever read; and not only that, but one of the best stories that I've ever read, period.