for Forgotten1/29/2008 c6 murderdetective
Hm... improve it by making smut, more story line... oh SMUT! That is the big ringer! Haha! Just more of a story line would be cool. Like a sequal. Yeah. Okay.
Ciao.
Hm... improve it by making smut, more story line... oh SMUT! That is the big ringer! Haha! Just more of a story line would be cool. Like a sequal. Yeah. Okay.
Ciao.
12/13/2007 c6 
65notwritten
Oh good a very interesting chapter you written. It was nice. Merry Christmas. Have a nice day tomorrow, Keep smiling. :-)
65notwrittenOh good a very interesting chapter you written. It was nice. Merry Christmas. Have a nice day tomorrow, Keep smiling. :-)
12/13/2007 c6 11CoffeeKris
I like the idea for this story, but I feel it's far too short. It's well written, but it feels a bit rushed.
11CoffeeKrisI like the idea for this story, but I feel it's far too short. It's well written, but it feels a bit rushed.
12/13/2007 c6 Artificial-Sophie
That was an awsome story , My only problem was that Jareth and Sarah didnt get married and have baby tobies and live HAPILY EVER AFTER lol but meh ! LOVE your work !
That was an awsome story , My only problem was that Jareth and Sarah didnt get married and have baby tobies and live HAPILY EVER AFTER lol but meh ! LOVE your work !
12/13/2007 c5 Artificial-Sophie
Wow ! gosh almighty that was so exiting, Im soo glad that Toby was finally found :D
Wow ! gosh almighty that was so exiting, Im soo glad that Toby was finally found :D
12/7/2007 c4 13yodeladyhoo
Congratulations on starting your fist fanfiction! Very nerve-wracking indeed.
You have a good story line here. Your style can use a lot of brushing up. You also need to double check your word usage, as spellcheck will see 'minuet' as a courtly dance when you mean 'minute'.
You are keeping the tension high. The flip side to that is that, personally, I feel that the story is rushing along. That's just my personal opinion, though. If you are happy with the pacing, then keep along.
Until again.
13yodeladyhooCongratulations on starting your fist fanfiction! Very nerve-wracking indeed.
You have a good story line here. Your style can use a lot of brushing up. You also need to double check your word usage, as spellcheck will see 'minuet' as a courtly dance when you mean 'minute'.
You are keeping the tension high. The flip side to that is that, personally, I feel that the story is rushing along. That's just my personal opinion, though. If you are happy with the pacing, then keep along.
Until again.
12/2/2007 c4 Artificial-Sophie
Oh, you can just tell its going to get exiting!
Very mysterious , Keep up the good work :)
Oh, you can just tell its going to get exiting!
Very mysterious , Keep up the good work :)
12/1/2007 c1 the.imagined.reality
I really like this idea and encourage u to keep writing. I'm really excited to see how the plot develpes, mainly cause u left it a a cliffy!
GOOD WORK!
I really like this idea and encourage u to keep writing. I'm really excited to see how the plot develpes, mainly cause u left it a a cliffy!
GOOD WORK!
11/24/2007 c3 notwritten
A simply wonderful chapter you have written. Because of this can we have more please. Only if there is more to come. If not good story. :-)
Have a good day tomorrow, and keep on smiling all the day through.
A simply wonderful chapter you have written. Because of this can we have more please. Only if there is more to come. If not good story. :-)
Have a good day tomorrow, and keep on smiling all the day through.
11/23/2007 c2 notwritten
I like this chapter alot. Can we have more please. Have a good weekend. Keep smiling. :-)
I like this chapter alot. Can we have more please. Have a good weekend. Keep smiling. :-)
11/13/2007 c1 notwritten
It is an interesting and enjoyable chapter you have written. Can we have more please. :-D
Keep this story going.
It is an interesting and enjoyable chapter you have written. Can we have more please. :-D
Keep this story going.