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9/9/2011 c1 Eve-the-Great
I couldn't agree more with Pergrine
7/12/2011 c1 Peregrine
English. Learn it.
10/16/2009 c3 Jing-Yen
This story has bad bad bad bad bad BAD spelling and grammar. But its funny. Your story just made my day. It is so funny. It is a real laugh. No flames. This is cute.
10/19/2008 c2 590928soubi at docomo.ne.jp
XD I can totally see Naruto doing that with some bushins!
7/20/2008 c1 The J O K E R Card
WTF. Dued try SPELLCHECK. Also; "NO DO NOT DO!" WTF. I understand that english isn't your first but come on! There are /great/ WRITERS(Only doing that 'cause on your pro it says RITTING!) from around the world with english as the THRID speach for them. English is my first and i guess if it counts then ASL is my second.

Your story has KILLED me. KILLED! Re-write your story. Use spellcheck and PLEASE get a better beta.

(\_/)

(X.X)

(")(")

The story has killed my bunny...
3/13/2008 c3 surakio
What.

The.

Fck.

O.o
2/21/2008 c1 2Jessarai
FANFICTION!

This is my 2nd story. I hope that you like it. I don't really make SasuSaku or ItaSaku very much but my friend Amanda wanted me to write it because she loves the love pairings.

NOTE: My best friend Amanda edits my first story (but not too much because she didn't want them to loose their good feeling) but she doesn't have time to do my rest of it. She was busy making her own FMA story that is godly. And also, I uploaded it on my you can see it there. It's called "a love to last" It is good.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not going to make money from this story or anything about Naruto.

_

It was a sort of day that Sakura thought was beautiful. She was outside and walking down a path in the road of Konoha. She stopped to smell the flowers growing in the ground.

I'm sad, she thought. She had a very bad heart-ache because she could not find Sasuke. He had promised her that they would make a date together today. She found a note he had written for her earlier today that said so.

FLASHBACK

"I have a note for you, Sakura," Sakura's mother called to her as she was walk down the stair to see her mother.

Sakura said, "What, mom?”

"I said I have a note for you," her mom said again and gave the note to Sakura, who read the note and letters. The note had the words like this:

Dear Sakura-chan,

I want to be sorry for all the mean and nasty cold-hearted things I have done to you in the time before now. I just said those mean and nasty and cold-hearted things because I do not know how to say my feelings. My REAL feelings for you. The truth is I love you very much in all my heart. I want to meet together under the cherry-flower-blossom-tree tree in Konoha park tomorrow.

Sasuke, with love.

Sakura held the letter paper to her chest and heart. She felt her face blush a pink. Her mother smiled, she knew that her little girl had found love.

END of the FLASHBACK

But Sakura was here now at the same park the letter said to be in. She looked around, and did not see Sasuke. She waited, and she did not see Sasuke come, so she waited and looked longer.

She waited there for one hour for Sasuke to come to her. She imagined him taking her into his warm strong ninja-man arms and holding her close to his body. She imaged him making sex to her on top of the pink cherry petal-flowers. Her face went red at that sex filled thought.

She stayed there for a while, lost in her love thoughts. SUDDENLY, she felt a thing on her shoulder that had fingers like a hand! It was a hand!

Could it be Sasuke finally? she thought as she spun around to see who touched her. She turned around to see a pair of eyes that certainly look like Sasuke with his Sharingan eyes... but they were not his eyes!

"Who are you?" she asked as she looked at the person who touched her. She could see that he had black hair like Sasuke and very light skin like Sasuke as well. The man was taller, though, and he was had strange lines on his face.

"You are such a foolish little girl." He said, looking at her body, up and down; first, he looked at her upper half, then down to her lower half, and looked up again. She felt a wired feeling like a shiver when he looked at her like that.

"I SAID tell me your name!" she yelled, crossing her arms of anger.

The strange man smiled a mad-look smile. It was evil-looking and made Sakura shiver again like ice all over her.

The man said, "How silly of me. How silly and rude indeed. I am an Uchiha. Couldn’t you tell?”

Sakura’s eyes became wide. No... an Uchiha? she thought all the Uchiha did not alive anymore except for Sasuke... but wait... that means...

"OH MY GOD! You're… you’re Itachi Uchiha!" she covered her mouth as she gasped.

It was the murderer Itachi Uchiha... the one who killed his whole family besides Sasuke! He was in the evil Akatsuki and he very dangerous!

"Yes. That is right," he said, and then moved his hand down and up. "Now, I am going to use you to hurt Sasuke even more. Since I killed the family, he has learned to love humans again."

"But... I don't understand!" Sakura yelled, but Itachi covered her mouth.

He said, "I want to hurt Sasuke-niisan by hurting you. Because he loves you."

Then Itachi's Sharingan eyes started to spin around and around and around and around and around..

He pushed Sakura down, and she landed on the ground. She hoped that the grass made the fall softer but it didn’t. He bent down and licked his lips that then go onto Sakura's lips, or in other words he licked his lips and they kiss.

"NO! DO NOT DO!" Sakura yelled, squirming and trying to escape Itachi who sat on her and start to remove her clothes. He still smiles the sad, mean smiles and she soon finds that she is not clothed. She is NAKED!

He takes his evil robe off of his body and Sakura saw that he was not wearing any clothing behind it! She closed her eyes and tried not to scream when Itachi says...

"And now... we begin the -*, my little cherry-flower love-girl.."

edit to those who happen to read this: I decided to edit the first chapter because o1) it was killing me and o2) Claudias had reviewed my story saying “If you want REAL literature, then check out MY stories.” You also said in your profile, “My english is very good so don't think i'm stupid or anything! READ STORIES THEN JUDGE ME!”

I have read your story. And now I’m judging you. Your story, as far as I can see, is not “REAL literature.” I didn’t understand what you were getting at by telling me that. I assumed you were just doing a very poor advertisement or wanted people to read your friend’s story. I’m not saying my fan fiction is godly or anything. I’m just doing what you told me to do.

And, yes, this WAS killing me. I’m the person that if you send a letter to and I don’t have anything to say in reply, I will fix all of your grammatical and spelling errors and send it back to you. This was painful for a best-grammar-possible freak like me.

I am also aware you are from Norway, so I’m assuming English was not your first language. You aren’t the only one. English was not the first language I learned. It was far from it, using a different set of characters and alphabets. I am aware that Norwegian also uses slightly different character than English, but mine is WAY farther than yours.

One last thing: the thoughts should be in italics, but italics can't be used in reviews...

*I’m not sure what you wanted… because there’s not really a word that fits in “we begin the” to replace what you wanted. All I know is that it wasn’t a word.

X Shanaikai Saisuki (Jessarai)
12/29/2007 c3 lookie lookie
Wat the hell is rapetime?
11/21/2007 c1 16phantom and potter Obsession
Hm. It seems pretty good so far, but I'd recommend using a grammar check and proof-reading before posting. The plot seems good though, especially if you don't like the pairings.

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