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for Growing up together,

10/9/2013 c1 5noxlumen
Please ignore the reviewer who said you don't need a beta. This person is laughing at you for your clear lack of expertise instead of offering to help you improve your SECOND language. If you are working under the impression that this is what good English typing looks like, someone has mislead you. You would benefit a great deal from the assistance of a native speaker to help you increase your skills and explain slang better for future works.
7/2/2012 c1 TheAkirasama
First off, the story was good but your grammar and spelling sucked bad. Also are you really that childish that you can't say sex and penis and that you have to say sexy-man-love-time and peepee? You sound like you're eight or something.
9/11/2009 c1 karma
THAT DIDN'T MAKE ANY FRIKKIN SINCE AT ALL. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL? WHAT THE HELL?:( LEARN TO WRITE THEN DO A ANOTHER STORY OK.
7/10/2009 c1 Chibitarou
You have a really ok story, just a few problems

1: I don't think it's good to hear about your life story in between sentences during the story. it's best to save that in the Author's note at the end.

2: I suggest you shape up on your grammer a bit. It makes the story better and easier to read.

3: Try not to go crazy when writing. It seems like you were trying to make this story really silly or whatever and you kind of made Hitsugaya kind of OoC. And how can a banana appear out of nowhere?

But over all you have a good story.
3/25/2009 c1 ixi
to be honest. You need to brush up on your English past and present tense and the proper use of comma. And there's quite a few spelling mistakes too. You can use italics instead of caps, or an exclamation mark at the end would do. You might want to use a wider range of vocabulary and try to refrain from using the word "man" in every 20th word or so.
10/18/2008 c1 590928soubi at docomo.ne.jp
First of all:

DON'T EVER GET A BETA! While you made quite a few mistakes, they were hilarious and somehow managed to add to the fic.

Secondly:

Please post soon!

Thirdly:

R&R means "Read and Review." It's kind of redundant though, I mean, obviously you've already read the fic, so why do we always put it? O.O''

Awesome and extremely hilarious! .
7/23/2008 c1 1lord kiras hand
dude your english needs a little work.

i loved the story though it was funny ^-^
12/11/2007 c1 7traffycake
:3 oh my! I have never seen this pairing before, but it's very sexy! :) Plz, do write more!
11/19/2007 c1 Buggy Mamacita
Wtf is this? this is plain shit. lol, i've never seen a stupider story

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