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for A Group Of Three, All Alone

4/4/2012 c1 1Fictiondevourer
Because you reviewed my story its only fair that I look at yours.

Mandara do you mean Madara, or is it intentional?

do you mean whinging or whining? The first is something technical with wings and the second is what fits as annoying complainers.

Instead of "Taking her children's hands in her own" why not "Taking the hands of her children in her own" it is what easier to speak and read.

Chara already acts as a mysterious lady so I would remove "carried herself with a mysterious demeanor" and replace it what identifies her looks, speech pattern or something like it.

In the first chapter the remarks about twins is used a lot while brats seems more fitting.

I do like the conversations so far and I really want to know what happens next.
6/3/2009 c2 some reader 21
Super OC's? Whats that?

I actually knew these two would be surviving, however the reversed roles are something new...

...if you want to make it even more predictable the third hermit would be Sakura...

Poisoning for News? It's kinda strange to resort to that...I think Naruto could at least use some Kage-bunshin under a henge to search for new infos and the dispel itself...

Well other than that, your story isn't half bad for just the beginning...but well it's just that, only the beginning! You ought to write more of it, with just that I can't write decent reviews...

Mata nee
5/29/2008 c1 1Fic Druggy
hmm... interesting. I hope to see more of it!
11/24/2007 c1 6SnickyPop
O,O

alright, I'm hooked. but seriously speaking here, it's naruto sasuke and sakura, isn't it. (nudge nudge wink wink) heehee. Hope yo update soon, I really want to know what happens next!
11/23/2007 c1 Cooltony101neo
seems pretty good, i think i know who the three are, oh well keep it up

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