for The Best Memory12/28/2008 c1 Dr. Dawg
It's a good story, but edited terribly. Honey, you need a beta. This doesn't sound how people speak, it sounds how you learn English in second grade. Very halted. If you're ESL, I commend you for the work well written, but... native speaker? No. They're good concepts, don't let me deter you from writing, however... an editor would do you wonders. Best of Luck!
-Dr. Dawg
It's a good story, but edited terribly. Honey, you need a beta. This doesn't sound how people speak, it sounds how you learn English in second grade. Very halted. If you're ESL, I commend you for the work well written, but... native speaker? No. They're good concepts, don't let me deter you from writing, however... an editor would do you wonders. Best of Luck!
-Dr. Dawg
7/1/2008 c1 
178Ramzes
Ha-ha, Teddy had to know better than trying to trick Victoire into believing that he was Meredith.
178RamzesHa-ha, Teddy had to know better than trying to trick Victoire into believing that he was Meredith.
12/23/2007 c1 18Gaby Black
Aww this is cute! I like this pairing.
I loved the bit about Neville and Remus, and the end, too. Great job!
- Gaby
18Gaby BlackAww this is cute! I like this pairing.
I loved the bit about Neville and Remus, and the end, too. Great job!
- Gaby
12/2/2007 c1 8mischief manage
I think that was so...fluzzy. It was fuzzy and fluffy at the same time, I loved it!
8mischief manageI think that was so...fluzzy. It was fuzzy and fluffy at the same time, I loved it!
11/26/2007 c1 3LupinandHarry
aw very cute, loved Teddy, the thing about his hair when he got sorted was really funny. And Harry swears all the time i'm sure, just not around the kids ^-^
3LupinandHarryaw very cute, loved Teddy, the thing about his hair when he got sorted was really funny. And Harry swears all the time i'm sure, just not around the kids ^-^
11/26/2007 c1 kaet100
Look, it's a good story in content and structure, but it really needs someone to go through and just correct some of the English. It's remarkably good to keep me reading through that, though, as normally I just wouldn't bother!
Look, it's a good story in content and structure, but it really needs someone to go through and just correct some of the English. It's remarkably good to keep me reading through that, though, as normally I just wouldn't bother!