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for Our baby Brother

7/2/2010 c1 nolongerinuseee
SO CUTE!
5/18/2010 c1 69Atarah Derekh
Nice little story, but there are a few historical and biological facts I need to point out. One reviewer already mentioned that Moses' father's name was Amram, and that he was a Levite. So I'll talk about the kids' ages.

Miriam's age is never made clear in the Bible. I thought that in the movie, Miriam looked like she was about eight or nine (too short and too young-sounding to be a preteen). But we do know for certain that she was the firstborn of the children because the Bible gives the age difference between Aaron and Moses (Aaron was three when Moses was born, not eight). A girl under the age of three would certainly not have been given the responsibility of babysitting an infant, so Miriam was clearly older than Aaron.

Second, a newborn cannot laugh. Laughter is something babies learn at about two months of age. Doctors actually tickle newborns to stimulate breathing. The sudden stimulus causes them to inhale sharply, and the air in their lungs startles them and causes them to scream (that and they're probably in pain from being squeezed through a tube half their size, not to mention they're cold, wet and naked). Being tickled a second time so soon would almost certainly cause Moses to start crying again.

That said, you have the makings of a fine author. You do need a little more practice with sentence construction, so keep writing. The more experience you gain, the better your stories will become.
4/16/2010 c1 MERIDAxJACKFROST4EVER DELETED
OMG, It's so cute! Why can't they do it with Percy Jackson or Hiccup? WHY? But good story though. 100/10
1/24/2010 c1 25Link Fangirl01
I never could figure out whether Aaron or Miriam was older. Thanks for clearing that up.

Really bittersweet fic. But good nonetheless.
9/16/2008 c1 Mija
very sad but good fic

GOd bless
1/26/2008 c1 27roughdiamond5
(*whistles*) Wow, I would have never thought of that for a fanfic! I keep forgetting there's stuff that happened before Moses got sent down a river. And THAT'S what happened to the father, I was wondering! Thanks for such an informative, sweet, and wonderful fic, it made me feel all fuzzy inside! :D
12/7/2007 c1 5freakypencils
This is a very nice story! I love the layout and everything, but you could do without a few run-on sentences I found.

Also, "dear" is too frequently used when the couple talks to each other.

And the accuracy of the characters isn't so nice. I'm not talking about Miriam and Aaron's ages, though, it's perfectly fine, because that's also how I saw them. Yocheved is married to her nephew the Levite Amram.

But since this IS a fanfiction, this is very acceptable. Aaron and Miriam are depicted very adorably here, and I enjoyed the scene in Moses' room. PRICELESS. :)

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