
9/24/2019 c1
1kickstart-myheart13
Dang this is an interesting story I read it super fast because I wanted to know what happened! It’s very intense, I like it. Aw I feel bad for them though :( anyways I really like your take on everything, great work!

Dang this is an interesting story I read it super fast because I wanted to know what happened! It’s very intense, I like it. Aw I feel bad for them though :( anyways I really like your take on everything, great work!
9/23/2018 c1
4Shadow of Ketterdam
Omg! Sooo good! Love it! Please post a continuation chapter!
Also: thank you for the well wishes with this fire out here, there’s no chance that I will be evacuated so far but I won’t be able to update

Omg! Sooo good! Love it! Please post a continuation chapter!
Also: thank you for the well wishes with this fire out here, there’s no chance that I will be evacuated so far but I won’t be able to update
12/6/2015 c1 Guest
I thought this was really great but one tiny thing is that Shermer is a suburb of Chicago, so it's not quite a small town.
I thought this was really great but one tiny thing is that Shermer is a suburb of Chicago, so it's not quite a small town.
2/1/2014 c1
6AintNoMeIfThereAintNoYou
I really liked some of the little touches in this, like 'the tears flowed, as did the snot' and 'the Benders it seemed had season tickets to his courtroom'. Great stuff!
Nonetheless, I think the editing could be a little tighter. There are commas that have been missed out and run-on sentences which could do with a little shortening. Also, a little suggestion would be to use line dividers or some other kind of marking to mark when one character's perspective ends and another one's begins.

I really liked some of the little touches in this, like 'the tears flowed, as did the snot' and 'the Benders it seemed had season tickets to his courtroom'. Great stuff!
Nonetheless, I think the editing could be a little tighter. There are commas that have been missed out and run-on sentences which could do with a little shortening. Also, a little suggestion would be to use line dividers or some other kind of marking to mark when one character's perspective ends and another one's begins.
11/6/2013 c1 Erinn
Omw! That was amazing! You HAVE to write one more chapter so we know how it all ends. Please write another chapter rather than leaving us hanging like this. Wow so good.
Omw! That was amazing! You HAVE to write one more chapter so we know how it all ends. Please write another chapter rather than leaving us hanging like this. Wow so good.
11/3/2013 c1 Erinn
Please make another chapter!
Please make another chapter!
8/17/2013 c1
11Ryan Alexander Lewis
Ima little confused...please write more though! I love it! Maybe, if you dont want to write more, can you just message me and explain a little? But i really do love it...just the end was hard to catch...
:D

Ima little confused...please write more though! I love it! Maybe, if you dont want to write more, can you just message me and explain a little? But i really do love it...just the end was hard to catch...
:D
8/9/2013 c1 Guest
I want more info! Keep writing please and thankyou!
I want more info! Keep writing please and thankyou!
10/20/2012 c1 Dakota
Wow, that was really good :) Did you ever continue with it?
It hasn't been updated since '07 but pleeease write just a bit more?... Or 16,000 words more?
Wow, that was really good :) Did you ever continue with it?
It hasn't been updated since '07 but pleeease write just a bit more?... Or 16,000 words more?
8/8/2012 c1 Me
That was amazing, more please?
That was amazing, more please?
3/31/2012 c1
71BlackxValentine
Um, what the heck? What happened? Whose blood was it?
I enjoyed the story, but it kinda ended abruptly don't you think?

Um, what the heck? What happened? Whose blood was it?
I enjoyed the story, but it kinda ended abruptly don't you think?