for Watermelons7/25/2008 c1 
15NobodyCanKnow
SO GOOD! Amazing . . . it's truly something else. It was short but it was exciting. I knew there was a kiss in the story somewhere but I didn't see that whole thing coming. Well Done!
15NobodyCanKnowSO GOOD! Amazing . . . it's truly something else. It was short but it was exciting. I knew there was a kiss in the story somewhere but I didn't see that whole thing coming. Well Done!
1/4/2008 c1 Caravida
Hey Mumma, I told you I'd find you! Anyways, yes, it's very cute. Congrats on your first L/J oneshot, see you for dinner Tues! lol
Hey Mumma, I told you I'd find you! Anyways, yes, it's very cute. Congrats on your first L/J oneshot, see you for dinner Tues! lol
12/31/2007 c1 39xxpiratexx
Wow. Just wow.
In both a good way, and a bad way.
You could have spread out the "dirty" scene instead of leaving it in a paragraph lump, but otherwise...
fantabulous idea.
Luv,
Rose
39xxpiratexxWow. Just wow.
In both a good way, and a bad way.
You could have spread out the "dirty" scene instead of leaving it in a paragraph lump, but otherwise...
fantabulous idea.
Luv,
Rose
12/29/2007 c1 24Owl Emporium
Hmm, well, it was good, but it was sorta weird how he sorta just jumped at her lol. You should've done something like "Oh, the thing she does with her lips" and crap like that lol.
24Owl EmporiumHmm, well, it was good, but it was sorta weird how he sorta just jumped at her lol. You should've done something like "Oh, the thing she does with her lips" and crap like that lol.
12/28/2007 c1 16aussiesheila47
O-kay then...
James came on to Lily a bit fast, didn't he? You didn't say if Lily liked James, just that she liked what he was doing. Maybe you should put that, otherwise Lily seems a little OOC to just let James 'ravage' her neck, etc. It's a cute story though. Watermelons are one of my favourite fruits, too.
16aussiesheila47O-kay then...
James came on to Lily a bit fast, didn't he? You didn't say if Lily liked James, just that she liked what he was doing. Maybe you should put that, otherwise Lily seems a little OOC to just let James 'ravage' her neck, etc. It's a cute story though. Watermelons are one of my favourite fruits, too.