for Minds Intertwined1/20/2008 c1 
2Twilit Dawn
This is worth watching. You really caught his emotion well there and I'm really anxious to see what will happen in the future and from itachi's point of view. All in all, you write very well and you can put mice length into each chapter. Ther'es also nice balance between sasuke's emotions and his surroundings.
All in all, I hope this review makes you type faster because personally I can't wait for another chapter, and be sure that I'll review which each new chapter.
May Jashin watch over you and art forever be a bang.
Ta,
~Rinai
(AKA TwilitDawn)
2Twilit DawnThis is worth watching. You really caught his emotion well there and I'm really anxious to see what will happen in the future and from itachi's point of view. All in all, you write very well and you can put mice length into each chapter. Ther'es also nice balance between sasuke's emotions and his surroundings.
All in all, I hope this review makes you type faster because personally I can't wait for another chapter, and be sure that I'll review which each new chapter.
May Jashin watch over you and art forever be a bang.
Ta,
~Rinai
(AKA TwilitDawn)
1/6/2008 c1 1RoronoaC
nya I really loved the beginin! I want more... Where's ita-kun T-T wanna see him... nya but wonderfull history keep posting chapters!
1RoronoaCnya I really loved the beginin! I want more... Where's ita-kun T-T wanna see him... nya but wonderfull history keep posting chapters!
1/5/2008 c1 3Mickeygee
hey! pretty good, but i can't give you constructive criticizm, as i hav no idea who the heck these people are, and what the setting is :)
but it was well written, so you did a great job! ;) sorry i couldn't have been more help!
3Mickeygeehey! pretty good, but i can't give you constructive criticizm, as i hav no idea who the heck these people are, and what the setting is :)
but it was well written, so you did a great job! ;) sorry i couldn't have been more help!
1/5/2008 c1 Skialdi
It's very well written and keeps the reader intersted. I definatly want to read chapter two so please write it ^^
-kawaii Tobi
It's very well written and keeps the reader intersted. I definatly want to read chapter two so please write it ^^
-kawaii Tobi
1/4/2008 c1 9Muria
:) Please continue this! What an idea... Switching Itachi and Sasuke... What'll Itachi's reaction be? Will Kisame realize what's happened? Will the other members of the Akatsuki notice 'Itachi's' strange behavior? Will Konoha notice 'Sasuke's'? Sorry, I'm curious now! This is really interesting.
By the way, is this set in between Itachi's introduction and Sasuke's betrayal?
The only criticism I can think of is that you might want to use fewer passive sentences since it can weaken your writing... But, you're writing's still good. I had to stop and think about anything to criticize...
Happy writing! (Please continue this!)
9Muria:) Please continue this! What an idea... Switching Itachi and Sasuke... What'll Itachi's reaction be? Will Kisame realize what's happened? Will the other members of the Akatsuki notice 'Itachi's' strange behavior? Will Konoha notice 'Sasuke's'? Sorry, I'm curious now! This is really interesting.
By the way, is this set in between Itachi's introduction and Sasuke's betrayal?
The only criticism I can think of is that you might want to use fewer passive sentences since it can weaken your writing... But, you're writing's still good. I had to stop and think about anything to criticize...
Happy writing! (Please continue this!)