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for Behind His Mask version 2

7/13/2011 c2 6Amorphous Entity
Please update soon, Ja ne! ~TheFallenOne =^-^=
4/6/2010 c2 afallenheart
Please update as soon as possible! PLEASE!
6/30/2009 c2 hannibal221
hey great story i like that you didn't make naruto all super powered it showed he was more human then in most fics.
1/28/2009 c2 DD
I think I'm gonna throw up :(
1/27/2009 c2 4the DragonBard
Too many original characters, way too early in the story. I'm hoping they'll just be side characters, but having one of them being like canon-Hinata makes me doubt that.

Also, Naruto should have way more chakra than what you gave him during the Zabusa fight. If he's capable of making so many clones as he is, he shouldn't have been experiencing chakra drain.

Suddenly people are revealed as 'they're not this way, they're this way' at once just overloaded things I think. It would have worked better if just Naruto had the reveal.
12/31/2008 c1 11chm01
looks great
12/29/2008 c7 2BlueRidge330
I should probably advise you that it's very difficult to make a solid story with a harem theme, even for me. A key is to strike a very delicate balance so neither takes away from the other.

Email me back when you get the chance, cuz I've got news.
12/23/2008 c5 11chm01
as for the next version in the harem it should include: Rangiku Matsumoto,Female Haku,Sasame Fuma, Kiyone Kotetsu, Yakumo, Koyuki Kazahana, Hana Inuzuka. that is if you haven't decide on pairings for the next version. please let me know when that version is up (o yeah I already vote the poll in your profile)
11/9/2008 c6 yoruichi-chan
i really like this story but i think it should be harem with: Soi Fon; Rangiku Matsumoto; Female Haku; Yugito Nii; Ayame Ichiraku; Hana Inuzuka.

And if you could add other females i would suggest: Anko Mitarashi; Kurenai Yuuhi; Ino Yamanaka for Naruto and Yoruichi Shihouin; Kuukaku Shiba; Hallibel; Nel for Bleach.

Keep up the good work.
11/7/2008 c6 Sox766
poll 1 ) yes

Poll 2 ) Soi Fon , Isane Kotetsu , Rangiku Matsumoto , and female oc

female oc : her name is Hikari and she fights with a fox named Saki. Her father died against enemy ninja on a A-ranked mission her mom owns a little store that sells medicenes which she makes.Hikari is best at taijutsu and ninjutsu she does jutsu sort of like the inuzuka clan.Also Hikari can talk and understand Saki just like how inuzuka's can understand dogs. Hikari found Saki hurt in the woods and Saki's mother had abaned her, Hikari took her to the vet and after Saki was healed she kept her and has been with her ever since. She has high-genin level skills and high-genin level chakra. She hates seeing people being mean to others for no reason and she will always stand by her friends side no matter what the problem is. Haki has black hair and green eyes, she is about 5ft 2ins she wears a red lond sleeve shirt and black shinobi pants with black shinobi sandels. Saki is a medium sized red fox with blue eyes.
11/5/2008 c6 10avatoa
You do realize that most of these girls have come into contact with Naruto during a very emotional period for them and none of the other male shinobi assigned to their specific missions helped change their outlooks on life, right? Anyway, my votes are: yes to the harem and for the second poll, Sasame Fuma; Toki of Bird Country; Isaribi from Sea Country; Koyuki Kazahana from Snow Country for the reason stated above, as well as Ayame Ichiraku, for being there for him ever since he was a kid and Yugito Nii because she knows the pain of being a Jinchuuriki(did I spell that right)and can best connect with him. What can I say? The kid is a stud and knows just the right thing to say to these girls when they are feeling blue.
11/5/2008 c6 2Phnxfyr1
Yes to harem
11/5/2008 c6 2BlueRidge330
hey, sorry i havent been able to check out ffnet lately, i managed to move up to jersey, and my cousin is too busy with fantasy sports drafts to get off his computer.

i did check out a few chapters of this story, and it looks better than all the self-help books ive been reading. if youve ever seen Yukikaze, you could look at seeing that theres no black-white polarity between good and evil, and the characters really dont know who to trust. since a ninja story is about espionage, some double-dealing, even on Naruto's side, would only help you out.
11/4/2008 c6 12EDelta88
I vote one girl NaruxKyuu, I also suggest that Kyuubi be Naruto's Zanpakto so he can manifest her in the real world also I think she should have a name other then Kyuubi no something. Warai(Laughter) Gekido(Rage) or you could keep Kibou though to me it sounds off for some reason

another thing, you need a better reason for Naruto being seperated from his mother, because I'm sorry no mother that head strong would accept an order to effectivly abandon their child, orders and tradition be damned.

also you made alot of the transitions too fast, like getting the sword to past the prelims, Naruto's personality change, Naruto just accepting his mother, etc and you use too many flashbacks
11/4/2008 c6 gen. liquid
Poll 1: Yes, make it a harem.

Poll 2: Soi Fon, Nanao, Rangiku, Yugito, Ayame, female Haku.
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