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for Bittersweet Love

8/15/2012 c1 accountkill.1231
Sweet :-)
10/15/2009 c1 DobbyLivesAgain
aww that was so cute! xD

although i would like to know what they got in a fight over...
7/15/2008 c1 3Lady Nyan
It wasn't a cliché at all! Besides, clichés aren't so amazing, so sweet and beautiful, ... they're simply... eerie. This wasn't! This was amazing ^^ I loved it :D
6/24/2008 c1 annna
nice - but they didn't really find a solution to their problem...
5/13/2008 c1 7ZemISHly
whoa. It took forever for this to come up...stupid pop-up blocker. Naeway...I love this story. It's awesome. I love Lily/James anyway, so no surpirse there.lol. BTW-I actaully read like all those quotes...I clearly have no life.(well I needed an excuse so my sister would stop bothering me.)
5/4/2008 c1 8Respitini
Really deep, undefinable emotions are some of the most difficult to convey on paper (or screen), but you've done an admirable job of making us feel the two protagonists' pain here. Nicely done - looked cute-and-fluffy to start, but wound up being more than that.
5/3/2008 c1 9Ky-lassassin
I really liked the intro. The description is good without going over the top, and I can clearly picture the scene in my head.

[...she took in a deep breath, trying to steady her breathing.]

That could be re-phrased; you said "breath/breathing" twice.

[But now, a hurricane of feelings was going on in her heart.]

That sentence was just really...awkward. I don't know why, I just don't like it.

[She knew she loved him, but she also hated him at times like these. She trusted him, but despised him for being so caring and outrageous at the same time.]

I like the contradictions with her feelings for James. Nothing is ever clear-cut, black-and-white, and you did a really good job of showing this.

I noticed that you put spaces after ellipses, which are unnecessary; an example would be:

[Too many thoughts, too many questions, too much… him.]

There should be no space after "too much..." You only need a space if you start a new sentence.

[They had been going out for a couple of months now, but their relationship was like... the weather in Brazil, constantly changing. One day it was sunny, everything seemed perfect and they were like two love-birds, and the next day the storm broke out. With two hot-headed people like themselves, an argument was sure to break out at least one a week, and she couldn't take it anymore.]

LOVED that metaphor. :)

[Why couldn't he understand, that she couldn't get over the barriers...]

There shouldn't be a comma after "understand." But I liked that she wanted him to know that she couldn't forgive him that easily, that it would take time.

I liked that you switched to James's viewpoint for a bit. That whole part where he was watching her and thinking about her was really, really well-written.

[...the weight of it would continue tomake her miserable.]

I think that's a typo; it should be "to make."

I really liked your characterization of Lily and how she tries to be strong and not cry even though she *has* to.

Eleven seems kind of late at night to be meeting; they're not supposed to be wandering the corridors that late.

[She was so close now that he could count the tears clinging to her eyelashes.]

Wasn't a similar description used when Harry kissed Cho?

It was a bit cliched, but it was very cute. The ending wasn't my favorite, but it was good. I liked that you didn't really say what had happened between them, but you hinted at it, leaving the reader to figure it out on their own.

-Kyota
5/2/2008 c1 10Julie London
Very very lovely fic!
4/26/2008 c1 dancingcarrot21
Hm. This doesn't really seem like the Lily I'd expect. From reading 'Deathly Hallows' and her confrontation with Severus over the whole Mudblood incident, she seemed a bit more stronger to handle these types of things. Also, the wording in some parts was a bit over done. Almost too much, dear. And the paragraphs were a bit short where it was confusing.

But I did like some passages and how you described things. Like Lily feeling the grass tickling her ankles and such.

I'm curious though about this:

[It pained him to see her like this, and even more to know he was the cause of her sadness.]

I distinctly remember reading this in your other one-shot with Lily and Severus. Was it intentional?

[She was so close now that he could count the tears clinging to her eyelashes.]

I think I read this with Harry and Cho, but it might be a fluke.

Anyway, good job.

- Carrot
4/25/2008 c1 138Bad Mum
This is very sweet. I love the line Very believable in the light of how different we know that Lily and James were from each other.
4/25/2008 c1 1fauves
Aww that was so totally cute Juju! I loved the title: Bittersweet Love and how James and Lily can't help being mean to each other, but they love each other. However, I did think they were a little OOC in some places but it's awesome!

Pinky_x
4/25/2008 c1 8Tawny Owl
That was really sweet. Normally I don't like fics that change pov half way through, but that worked for some reason. It was good to see how James was feeling as well. It was nice to see something where they aren't just fighting the whole time as well. They both seemed sincere about what they were saying.
3/16/2008 c1 13Blanco Pagina
i loved it! it's a really great one-shot. i was scared at first that you wouldnt get there in time, and leave us hanging, but you DIDNT. you got there and it was ahmazing!

now i'm off to read more of your work...

(bu du bu bu bu, i'm lovin it...hehehe...)

bub'es
3/14/2008 c1 24Owl Emporium
Great great job! :) I loved this. :]
2/28/2008 c1 26Anna Nigma
*Sigh* Well written Lily/James fluff makes my day. I especially liked that you had them resolve their drama in a more mature fashion than most authors do, it was refreshing.

~Anna
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