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for A love he couldn't remember

3/31/2008 c1 cartr-fan
That was pretty good. Really in character if you ask me... in fact one of the best characterizations I've ever read.

Your grammar was okay also (though in this matter I'm not really useful since English is my second language)

My only critique would be that there are some parts in which you seem to be taking usagi's POV then suddenly mamoru's then usagi's again.

This paragraph in particular:

"At that moment, Usagi realized that she couldn't just live on. She must get him back. And if it would be the last thing she ever did in her life. She would get him back. (usagi)

But it was too late. He had already become an enemy. The Negaverse brainwashed him and now he was working for them. He IS Prince Endymion and he DID love not only Princess Serenity, but also Usagi Tsukino. But even he couldn't resist against the pain of the brainwashing.

And now - at the day after - it was time for him to show his loyalty. It was time for him to fight against his love - a love he couldn't remember.

So it came, that he was fighting against Sailor Moon in the evening. (mamoru)

She wasn't ready to fight him - she never would be! And she knew it. The moment she realized that, she powered down and looked at him. She didn't know what she was doing. She just did it. And what ever it was, it wasn't bothering her. It was, as if she was in trance." (usagi again)

That's all I could find really... you did a fine job!

Congratulations! I'll be looking forward to reading your next piece of work!

-cartr fan
3/26/2008 c1 3Gods of Death Loves Apples
WOW! that was really good! i loved it! i have watched Sailor Moon in english and Japanese and that was perfect! it was exactly like the episodes! great job!
1/25/2008 c1 India Rain
I was not crappy. I liked it alot.
1/22/2008 c1 Starblazer


1/18/2008 c1 3Vampyre Princess
Aw... It's so sweet... I like it...

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