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6/21/2009 c1 3a.Star.wished.to.be.an.Astroid
That was really good. I'm in awe. That's all I can say.
5/21/2008 c1 shadowstorm13
i love this it's awesome my cat even came to curl up next to me while i red(not the color) this awesome thank you for writing
3/25/2008 c1 3DreamFlyer
Just a few corrections. Its Duani, not Duian and Nawat, not Natwat.

I really like this and can so imagine Aly doing that.

This is great,

Dreamwings
3/19/2008 c1 seekerchick06
Wow. That was awesome! I love your writing style!
2/2/2008 c1 2Brona
wo! go aly! shes so awesome! and im so glad that nawat isnt dead. good especially for a drabble.
1/30/2008 c1 5Pieredae's Muse
Very neat! You really brought out the Lioness side of Aly, yet the coldness of her father in action as well. I enjoyed! take care- Req
1/29/2008 c1 21Anaroriel
If I recall correctly, his name is "Nawat" not "Natwat." Another one of your reviewers already pointing out some of your other errors. I think overall it was very well-written and showed Aly in a different light. One piece of criticism I have for you is that you make Aly seem supernatural which she is not. People don't naturally emanate so much power that their eyes glow, the gods fear a them, a mere mortal, or they resemble a giant people-eating squid. If you toned down Aly's fury to a believable level, then I believe that this will be a very good drabble about Aly. Nice work.
1/29/2008 c1 Me
Your one of the few people who request mistakes pointed out! Amazing! anyways, here are a couple:

"Natwat stiffened." becareful what typing out his name so it's not spelled wrong.

"Looking up at him cold fury" a comma could be added after him, it doens't really make sense here, but in the actual context it would.

Joern isn't a name I remember. Did you make it up?

Otherwise, I actually really really liked the story! Good job.
1/28/2008 c1 2princessofcrown101
this is a really good oneshot it s a oneshot? its short and sweet, and the plot is really good!
1/28/2008 c1 2Orohippus
Aly is called Duani, not Duian, but other than that, no errors jump out at me. I really like your inclusion of the gods.

Orohippus
1/28/2008 c1 4ocean-of-ink
when was this?

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