
10/11/2014 c1
2splitter sora
Wow XD This is BAAAAAD XD Im surprised I got good reviews on it. This was one of my first stories I ever wrote.

Wow XD This is BAAAAAD XD Im surprised I got good reviews on it. This was one of my first stories I ever wrote.
12/14/2011 c1 BaltoFan92
I love this movie and stephen king.My favorite part in this story is at the end.very funny when they throw water balloons at Issac! Haha
I love this movie and stephen king.My favorite part in this story is at the end.very funny when they throw water balloons at Issac! Haha
6/5/2010 c1
65DaydreamingSlytherin
XD this is hilarious. day 3 was the funniest part. i couldn't stop laughing. great fanfic

XD this is hilarious. day 3 was the funniest part. i couldn't stop laughing. great fanfic
10/6/2009 c1 hi
that was the worst story ever
that was the worst story ever
3/29/2008 c1
5Goodbye is my Second Chance
This story is fricken hilarious! I love it when isaac goes through the trouble with the kids and same about malachi. You should write more it's really funny.

This story is fricken hilarious! I love it when isaac goes through the trouble with the kids and same about malachi. You should write more it's really funny.
2/2/2008 c1 Nopeeeeeee
Snuffie: I think we're supposed to establish whether or not this story is supposed to be funny.
Rain: Yuh. The humour displayed in this story is the sort of stuff that might have been funny in a comic book.
Snuffie: Yeah. A comic published in the 20s with gags like 'pull my finger'.
Rain: An American one at that, because this story seems to use the most broad and basic humour. If you want to be funny in a story, you need to be more clever about how you portray your humour. Words speak louder than actions in this case, and the actions that usually come across as funny in story are completely random. Unnecessary, unrealistic, and unfunny. People familiar with the series will already know that.
Snuffie: I can give the barest of credit to you for actually writing a humor fic in this category that hasn't been since since the likes of what I cannot fathom.
Rain: Though indeed, the humour could be portrayed in a better fashion.
“NO!” Malachi wailed as the creepy psycho music plays in the background. Then, he passed out.
The line wasn't very funny. The creepy psycho music would only have any effect on a TV set. Saying that happening in a story has little to none in comedic effect. Ditto for the passing out, which wasn't very funny either. This whole scene might have been funny in your head, but on paper it looks bland. You need to describe things in a vivid fashion, while still holding a cleverness to your jokes that will make the story funny.
Snuffie: I hate when canon characters act like retards for humor's sake. It pretty much confirms my factual comment that those who think they're funny should never write humor fanfics. This is what happens.
Snuffie: I also don't see why she should add so many exclamation marks. It's so sloppy.
Rain: Well, canon characters all acting like retards also has little comedic effect, as they all come out as the same. If you want to turn a character towards humour, then you need to make their personality different in one of two ways:
1. Act on certain part of their personality or use actions during the canon to story to influence a humourous air to them and their interactions.
2. Create a wierd contrast.
Snuffie: Exactly. And Malachi is so OOC that he feels like a self-insert.
Rain: And this all should be done with someone who still conforms well to their old personality so that the reader can see how silly the altered character is compared to the normal one, while also being fed the normal character's perception of how screwed up everyone seems to be.
Snuffie: Jesus, I can't think of anything to say about this, it's mentally exhausting just to read it. It's like trying to get one of those magic eye pictures to work when you're drunk on cough syrup.
Rain: How about 'Better luck next time'?
Snuffie: Snuffie: Ugh, yes.
Rain: ^_^
Snuffie: I'll bet you the writer will most likely copy and paste someone else's humor fic and call that an improvement. But I'm being mean.
Rain: And if you want to base your story off of someone else's short story, at least cite which one you're basing it off and give them credit.You being mean? I thought we were going easy...
Snuffie: Yeah, you're right. Being mean is if I insulted her mom or something.
Rain: Exactly. Or pulling out the unnecessarily harsh criticisms.
Snuffie: I think I'm done with this. Humor is way too bad. I'll bet you I'm gonna get a complaint about how I should shut my trap since I can't write humor fics.
Rain: Oh yes, and before I forget, you should really sort out your paragraphing method. It isn't huge-ass chunks, which is good. But the paragraphs are so screwed up they're painful to read. You'd need sunglasses to read them without being blinded by the 'how the hell do you read this' glare. But I'm sure you can do that ^_^
Snuffie: Radiation is a terrible thing.
Rain: Reckon. You could give someone cancer with it.
Snuffie: I mean, if this bad humor fad gets really, really huge, the skin cancer rate in in 30 years is going to be astronomical. The whole site is going to look like a day-glo leper colony.
Rain: Could even cause nuclear fallout and wipe out half the frickin' globe.
Snuffie: Well, my coffee is getting cold. Good luck...improving this...
Rain: And remember the children before you start spreading radiation! Do you wanna cancer cancer? HUH!
Snuffie: Later
Rain: Sayonara!
Snuffie: I think we're supposed to establish whether or not this story is supposed to be funny.
Rain: Yuh. The humour displayed in this story is the sort of stuff that might have been funny in a comic book.
Snuffie: Yeah. A comic published in the 20s with gags like 'pull my finger'.
Rain: An American one at that, because this story seems to use the most broad and basic humour. If you want to be funny in a story, you need to be more clever about how you portray your humour. Words speak louder than actions in this case, and the actions that usually come across as funny in story are completely random. Unnecessary, unrealistic, and unfunny. People familiar with the series will already know that.
Snuffie: I can give the barest of credit to you for actually writing a humor fic in this category that hasn't been since since the likes of what I cannot fathom.
Rain: Though indeed, the humour could be portrayed in a better fashion.
“NO!” Malachi wailed as the creepy psycho music plays in the background. Then, he passed out.
The line wasn't very funny. The creepy psycho music would only have any effect on a TV set. Saying that happening in a story has little to none in comedic effect. Ditto for the passing out, which wasn't very funny either. This whole scene might have been funny in your head, but on paper it looks bland. You need to describe things in a vivid fashion, while still holding a cleverness to your jokes that will make the story funny.
Snuffie: I hate when canon characters act like retards for humor's sake. It pretty much confirms my factual comment that those who think they're funny should never write humor fanfics. This is what happens.
Snuffie: I also don't see why she should add so many exclamation marks. It's so sloppy.
Rain: Well, canon characters all acting like retards also has little comedic effect, as they all come out as the same. If you want to turn a character towards humour, then you need to make their personality different in one of two ways:
1. Act on certain part of their personality or use actions during the canon to story to influence a humourous air to them and their interactions.
2. Create a wierd contrast.
Snuffie: Exactly. And Malachi is so OOC that he feels like a self-insert.
Rain: And this all should be done with someone who still conforms well to their old personality so that the reader can see how silly the altered character is compared to the normal one, while also being fed the normal character's perception of how screwed up everyone seems to be.
Snuffie: Jesus, I can't think of anything to say about this, it's mentally exhausting just to read it. It's like trying to get one of those magic eye pictures to work when you're drunk on cough syrup.
Rain: How about 'Better luck next time'?
Snuffie: Snuffie: Ugh, yes.
Rain: ^_^
Snuffie: I'll bet you the writer will most likely copy and paste someone else's humor fic and call that an improvement. But I'm being mean.
Rain: And if you want to base your story off of someone else's short story, at least cite which one you're basing it off and give them credit.You being mean? I thought we were going easy...
Snuffie: Yeah, you're right. Being mean is if I insulted her mom or something.
Rain: Exactly. Or pulling out the unnecessarily harsh criticisms.
Snuffie: I think I'm done with this. Humor is way too bad. I'll bet you I'm gonna get a complaint about how I should shut my trap since I can't write humor fics.
Rain: Oh yes, and before I forget, you should really sort out your paragraphing method. It isn't huge-ass chunks, which is good. But the paragraphs are so screwed up they're painful to read. You'd need sunglasses to read them without being blinded by the 'how the hell do you read this' glare. But I'm sure you can do that ^_^
Snuffie: Radiation is a terrible thing.
Rain: Reckon. You could give someone cancer with it.
Snuffie: I mean, if this bad humor fad gets really, really huge, the skin cancer rate in in 30 years is going to be astronomical. The whole site is going to look like a day-glo leper colony.
Rain: Could even cause nuclear fallout and wipe out half the frickin' globe.
Snuffie: Well, my coffee is getting cold. Good luck...improving this...
Rain: And remember the children before you start spreading radiation! Do you wanna cancer cancer? HUH!
Snuffie: Later
Rain: Sayonara!
2/1/2008 c1 SurfAngel
funny!
funny!