for naruto's lost memory3/19/2008 c10 Randy
Man, I really hope Naruto and Yoake get together soon, if you know what I mean. Hopefully some other hot chicks get involved in the pairing too. Can't wait for Hinata to make an entrance.
Man, I really hope Naruto and Yoake get together soon, if you know what I mean. Hopefully some other hot chicks get involved in the pairing too. Can't wait for Hinata to make an entrance.
3/19/2008 c10 Paul Evans
You seem to be kind of struggling, but I understand. It was still good of you to update though. I hope that Naruto starts to get his memory back soon. Hopefully Naruto at least remembers his ninja abilities, that way he can protect yoale from the ninja rapists. Update soon.
You seem to be kind of struggling, but I understand. It was still good of you to update though. I hope that Naruto starts to get his memory back soon. Hopefully Naruto at least remembers his ninja abilities, that way he can protect yoale from the ninja rapists. Update soon.
3/15/2008 c9 
6Sihouette The Jellicle Cat
:X Needs some work to be nice about it. Want me to be blunt? There are so many mistakes I cannot list them all, un.
6Sihouette The Jellicle Cat:X Needs some work to be nice about it. Want me to be blunt? There are so many mistakes I cannot list them all, un.
3/13/2008 c9 Paul Evans
Nice chapter, too bad there was no interaction between Naruto and Yoake, but still good to know that Hinata still loves him. At first I was afraid that you made her move on. So, are you going to add more girls to the pairing Naruto/Yoake/Hinata/more? or is it only those two? Update soon.
Nice chapter, too bad there was no interaction between Naruto and Yoake, but still good to know that Hinata still loves him. At first I was afraid that you made her move on. So, are you going to add more girls to the pairing Naruto/Yoake/Hinata/more? or is it only those two? Update soon.
3/8/2008 c1 1Havella-Bonnice
Hellos i like your story i think you might be like to my story will please read of it please and make review from Havella-Bonnice
1Havella-BonniceHellos i like your story i think you might be like to my story will please read of it please and make review from Havella-Bonnice
3/8/2008 c8 6Sihouette The Jellicle Cat
To answer the Q that you asked me previously...
A Beta is someone who corrects a story or document of some sort.
If you want, I can be your Beta. If so, we have a lot of work ahead of us.
6Sihouette The Jellicle CatTo answer the Q that you asked me previously...
A Beta is someone who corrects a story or document of some sort.
If you want, I can be your Beta. If so, we have a lot of work ahead of us.
3/7/2008 c7 Konoha Flash
You do this whole build-up in this story of angst for a potential Naruto and Sakura pairing. And now you announce in your AN that you're going to stick her with Sasuke? What a waste for this story. Sakura/Sasuke pairings are the most over used pairings on this site. You actually had some interesting drama with Naruto/Sakura the way you had it written. Now, you've got nothing. I don't even like Naruto/Sakura pairings, but you had at least gotten me interested in this one, the way you had written it.
You do this whole build-up in this story of angst for a potential Naruto and Sakura pairing. And now you announce in your AN that you're going to stick her with Sasuke? What a waste for this story. Sakura/Sasuke pairings are the most over used pairings on this site. You actually had some interesting drama with Naruto/Sakura the way you had it written. Now, you've got nothing. I don't even like Naruto/Sakura pairings, but you had at least gotten me interested in this one, the way you had written it.
3/7/2008 c8 Paul Evans
Too bad there's no harem. Hopefully you'll add just one more girl to Naruto's relationship though. I know, I'm a sucker for when Naruto ends up in multiple relationships. It's just ironic that the most ignored person in Konoha can get so many hot girls.
Too bad there's no harem. Hopefully you'll add just one more girl to Naruto's relationship though. I know, I'm a sucker for when Naruto ends up in multiple relationships. It's just ironic that the most ignored person in Konoha can get so many hot girls.
3/6/2008 c7 Chris Willy
I hope you make a lemon soon. If you do, can you make the girls lactate, that would be soo hot. Also, since this is an o.c. pairing, can you add more girls. I like seeing the lonely ninja with many hot chicks.
I hope you make a lemon soon. If you do, can you make the girls lactate, that would be soo hot. Also, since this is an o.c. pairing, can you add more girls. I like seeing the lonely ninja with many hot chicks.
3/6/2008 c7 Randy
I hope Naruto changes his hair back. Also, did you ever consider turning this into a harem, or maybe just a harem of o.c. girls. That would be cool. Sakura is crazy, but she and Sasuke could have treated Naruto better.
I hope Naruto changes his hair back. Also, did you ever consider turning this into a harem, or maybe just a harem of o.c. girls. That would be cool. Sakura is crazy, but she and Sasuke could have treated Naruto better.
3/6/2008 c7 Paul Evans
Aw, I guess this means no harem huh. Maybe you could add another female o.c., but you don't have to. Thanks for answering my prevoius questions. I really hope Naruto does something that helps Yoake change. I also hope he eventually changes back to his blond hair color. Keep up the good work. I don't mind the lack of capitals. It must be a real pain in the ass to worry about that stuff.
Aw, I guess this means no harem huh. Maybe you could add another female o.c., but you don't have to. Thanks for answering my prevoius questions. I really hope Naruto does something that helps Yoake change. I also hope he eventually changes back to his blond hair color. Keep up the good work. I don't mind the lack of capitals. It must be a real pain in the ass to worry about that stuff.
3/5/2008 c6 Paul Evans
I really hope that yoake is a virgin. Also, in your next chapter can you give the ages of your characters. At first I thought it was after the Sasuke Retrival arc, but now I'm not sure. It's a nice story so far. Are you thinking of putting Naruto with multiple girls, because Sakura seems to be in love with him. I really like harems so I don't mind.
I really hope that yoake is a virgin. Also, in your next chapter can you give the ages of your characters. At first I thought it was after the Sasuke Retrival arc, but now I'm not sure. It's a nice story so far. Are you thinking of putting Naruto with multiple girls, because Sakura seems to be in love with him. I really like harems so I don't mind.
3/4/2008 c1 Sihouette The Jellicle Cat
Seriously, dude. You should get this Beta'd. I got mine Beta'd so you should get your Beta'd too. Just ask someone who is willing to accept Beta requests.
Seriously, dude. You should get this Beta'd. I got mine Beta'd so you should get your Beta'd too. Just ask someone who is willing to accept Beta requests.
2/9/2008 c4 xXBEOWULFXx
I just found your story and read it straight thru. It started off well but I don't think I'll continue on with it. I'll explain why. It started off seemingly with a good Naruto/Sakura pairing foundation in chp#1. Sakura is heartbroken that he's disappeared, she feels like dying, etc. So what does she do help things, she sleeps with Sasuke, talk about betrayal by both of them. Now I know after reading your AN that they haven't had sex, but they might as well have with what you've written. Sakura seems too much like a tramp for me seeing how she can so easily go from loving Naruto to his best friend in matter of a few hours. Now it seems like your doing a Naruto/OC pairing in this. The problem with this is you've done zero development with this character for it to work. With established charaters, it doesn't matter, but it's vital with OC's. In the end, my advice to you would be you should have kept it with a Naruto/Sakura theme. I'm not even a big fan of that pairing, I'm more Naruto/Hinata fan myself. But established characters work and are easier to write. I know you would have gotten alot more reviews than the one guy or girl labeling Sakura a slut. (Not that I disagree that much.) I hope what I've said helps and doesn't come across as a flame.
I just found your story and read it straight thru. It started off well but I don't think I'll continue on with it. I'll explain why. It started off seemingly with a good Naruto/Sakura pairing foundation in chp#1. Sakura is heartbroken that he's disappeared, she feels like dying, etc. So what does she do help things, she sleeps with Sasuke, talk about betrayal by both of them. Now I know after reading your AN that they haven't had sex, but they might as well have with what you've written. Sakura seems too much like a tramp for me seeing how she can so easily go from loving Naruto to his best friend in matter of a few hours. Now it seems like your doing a Naruto/OC pairing in this. The problem with this is you've done zero development with this character for it to work. With established charaters, it doesn't matter, but it's vital with OC's. In the end, my advice to you would be you should have kept it with a Naruto/Sakura theme. I'm not even a big fan of that pairing, I'm more Naruto/Hinata fan myself. But established characters work and are easier to write. I know you would have gotten alot more reviews than the one guy or girl labeling Sakura a slut. (Not that I disagree that much.) I hope what I've said helps and doesn't come across as a flame.