for Waiting for You4/3/2010 c1 alguien22792
Omg that was so freaking cute! ~~ !
It kinda made me feel sorry for doumeki XD
Omg that was so freaking cute! ~~ !
It kinda made me feel sorry for doumeki XD
6/11/2008 c1 
13Anyjen
Overall this was pretty cute, but there is some room for improvement. Watanuki and Doumeki manage to stay in-character (and that's a pretty hard thing to do, congrats! ^^), but the dialogue and the descriptions are not very creative.
Please, don't take it the wrong way, it's still better than most of the stuff circulating the net, but you could polish your writing skills further. I'm sure we can expect great things from you in the future. :)
Well, if you allow me to give one suggestion, I think the ending would have been much more impressive if you had left that last paragraph out. It sort of sucks power out of the phrase, which pretty much summarizes their entire relationship.
It's still cute to think that Watanuki wouldn't have been able to stop himself from smiling every time he saw the things even though he still hated the taste, but maybe you could have added that first?
It would give that phrase written in the sugar heart a bit more power, even, as it would create more interest in the readers as to what the little heart said.
13AnyjenOverall this was pretty cute, but there is some room for improvement. Watanuki and Doumeki manage to stay in-character (and that's a pretty hard thing to do, congrats! ^^), but the dialogue and the descriptions are not very creative.
Please, don't take it the wrong way, it's still better than most of the stuff circulating the net, but you could polish your writing skills further. I'm sure we can expect great things from you in the future. :)
Well, if you allow me to give one suggestion, I think the ending would have been much more impressive if you had left that last paragraph out. It sort of sucks power out of the phrase, which pretty much summarizes their entire relationship.
It's still cute to think that Watanuki wouldn't have been able to stop himself from smiling every time he saw the things even though he still hated the taste, but maybe you could have added that first?
It would give that phrase written in the sugar heart a bit more power, even, as it would create more interest in the readers as to what the little heart said.
2/19/2008 c1 10Ereshkigali
e! *is sneakily reading this in Computer Lit. class* really cute and really adorable!
10Ereshkigalie! *is sneakily reading this in Computer Lit. class* really cute and really adorable!
2/16/2008 c1 6Sarahfreak
I really liked this fic because it didn't have the dramatic collapsing of Doumeki and Watanuki in each other's arms and declaring their undying love. This fic was subtle and well written and I enjoyed it immensely. Loved it!
6SarahfreakI really liked this fic because it didn't have the dramatic collapsing of Doumeki and Watanuki in each other's arms and declaring their undying love. This fic was subtle and well written and I enjoyed it immensely. Loved it!