
5/12/2010 c1
2k+Hawki
-I suppose this story primarily relies on context to work, though it's only the Carling context I'm familiar with and that's courtesy of YouTube. Anyway, story doesn't call for anything fancy, but there's a few slips of pacing (different lines should be used when different people start talking) and ITS should be IT'S.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't worry about plagarism. Even outside fanfiction, what counts as original is dubious and as no secret is made of the story's source, it's been validated...or something. 0_0

-I suppose this story primarily relies on context to work, though it's only the Carling context I'm familiar with and that's courtesy of YouTube. Anyway, story doesn't call for anything fancy, but there's a few slips of pacing (different lines should be used when different people start talking) and ITS should be IT'S.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't worry about plagarism. Even outside fanfiction, what counts as original is dubious and as no secret is made of the story's source, it's been validated...or something. 0_0
2/23/2008 c1
7Aswen
I loved this, it was really funny, it's nice to have the plot of the advert with characters we know the history to.

I loved this, it was really funny, it's nice to have the plot of the advert with characters we know the history to.
2/17/2008 c1
36Musings of a Shaken Mind
I loved it. That advert was on, literally, two minutes ago.
Great timing!
=]

I loved it. That advert was on, literally, two minutes ago.
Great timing!
=]
2/17/2008 c1
9RocMySox
yay will and djaq yay allan yay carlin yay birthdays yay allan yay love your story it soo cool you shou;ld write more

yay will and djaq yay allan yay carlin yay birthdays yay allan yay love your story it soo cool you shou;ld write more
2/16/2008 c1
6LittleMissSparkles
Great story even if its semi-plagiarism. YAY Allan had a great birthday.:D

Great story even if its semi-plagiarism. YAY Allan had a great birthday.:D