for An Aching Soul9/3/2010 c2 
4ausumist
i think the story has potential, but it needs to be more realistic. ( where is the social worker, what reason does she have not to tell anyone,and there would be subtle hints in her traits that would tell who her her god parent is.) Also you coppied too much of percys syory in my oppion.
4ausumisti think the story has potential, but it needs to be more realistic. ( where is the social worker, what reason does she have not to tell anyone,and there would be subtle hints in her traits that would tell who her her god parent is.) Also you coppied too much of percys syory in my oppion.
8/28/2009 c2 ForgetVampireIWantToBeAJedi
It's a great story most PJATO stories have Mary Sue's but your character is a well thought out one. You have to feel sorry for Lorin. Can't wait to read more chapters
It's a great story most PJATO stories have Mary Sue's but your character is a well thought out one. You have to feel sorry for Lorin. Can't wait to read more chapters
1/22/2009 c2 AleBee
A daughter of Athena? Or Apollo? I bet she's going to join the hunters of Artemis! This is REALLY good! Please keep going.
No. Scratch that. KEEP GOING. No please. You HAVE to keep going. And I don't kid
A daughter of Athena? Or Apollo? I bet she's going to join the hunters of Artemis! This is REALLY good! Please keep going.
No. Scratch that. KEEP GOING. No please. You HAVE to keep going. And I don't kid
12/22/2008 c2 A friend
Hey! Omg! This is so awesome! I've tried to write these stories, but I only get to the point where the character is at camp, after that I always get confused. The thing that always helps me is the actual journey to camp. The thing that gets me though, is I can't tell whose daughter she is! So, I'm really excited to find out! Please continue and update soon!
Hey! Omg! This is so awesome! I've tried to write these stories, but I only get to the point where the character is at camp, after that I always get confused. The thing that always helps me is the actual journey to camp. The thing that gets me though, is I can't tell whose daughter she is! So, I'm really excited to find out! Please continue and update soon!
6/13/2008 c2 4Medea DeMarchi
Hm the chapter is somewhat sad, but that will help make the story more interesting. Update soon!
4Medea DeMarchiHm the chapter is somewhat sad, but that will help make the story more interesting. Update soon!
3/14/2008 c2 HAYDEN
Hey i lov ur storey so far. can u rite more?i want 2 know more.
and i hav a question.how d u get stories on this website?i can not for the world of me figure out how! but wen i do can u cheak out my book somtime?IT will be called, Part of the profecy so come chek it out k? nice beggining 2 ur storey!
Hey i lov ur storey so far. can u rite more?i want 2 know more.
and i hav a question.how d u get stories on this website?i can not for the world of me figure out how! but wen i do can u cheak out my book somtime?IT will be called, Part of the profecy so come chek it out k? nice beggining 2 ur storey!
3/1/2008 c1 Bubbles -bubblegum11
Hmm, I don't think this chapter is long enough to say too much about it, but hey it is just the prologue. I kinda like the beginning, even though it could've been slightly longer.
Oh, if Lorin Johnsen has black hair and blue eyes, is that some kind of hint to who her immortal parent is? Though I'm not sure what immortal that would be yet.
Also, when it said:
'If only they could protect me from my step-mother.'
Does that mean her stepmother is horrible possibly?
Oh and if she has she has a step mom instead of a mom, maybe then her real mom was her immortal parent.
So that leaves:
Demeter, Athena, and Aphrodite, since Hera and Artemis don't have kids, right? Unless this is one of those fics about if one them did have a child?
Anyways, keep writing, so I can know those answers!
Hmm, I don't think this chapter is long enough to say too much about it, but hey it is just the prologue. I kinda like the beginning, even though it could've been slightly longer.
Oh, if Lorin Johnsen has black hair and blue eyes, is that some kind of hint to who her immortal parent is? Though I'm not sure what immortal that would be yet.
Also, when it said:
'If only they could protect me from my step-mother.'
Does that mean her stepmother is horrible possibly?
Oh and if she has she has a step mom instead of a mom, maybe then her real mom was her immortal parent.
So that leaves:
Demeter, Athena, and Aphrodite, since Hera and Artemis don't have kids, right? Unless this is one of those fics about if one them did have a child?
Anyways, keep writing, so I can know those answers!