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for Expelld with honor

1/3/2009 c8 3Queen S of Randomness 016
hey!

i was surprised to see an update! (it was a really good surprise tho!)

where IS Chip?

another awesome chapter! i hope u update soon! ^-^ :)
9/8/2008 c7 Queen S of Randomness 016
hey!

just one thing i noticed: where u wrote "sculs" i think u meant "skulls".

another awesome chapter! i hope u update soon! ^-^ :)
6/24/2008 c6 Queen S of Randomness 016
hey!

nice flashback.

another great job! i hope u update soon! ^-^ :)
5/10/2008 c5 Queen S of Randomness 016
probably Sam...but who knows...i could be wrong...

just a couple suggestions...

1. you should definately go to a new line when someone else is talking.

(ex. "Ellica stood up...'May I leave now?'

Ingrid and Fillmore looked at each other for a while, then back at her 'You can go, but trust me, we will talk to you again,' Fillmore said.

'Yeah yeah, you said that before,' She walked out from the hearing room.")

that way the reader knows who's talking (if it's all 1 paragraph it gets confusing & hard to tell who said what).

2. when Sam just noticed Fillmore and Ingrid he said "'Ow! Hi there! Are you still chasing that weird girl?'" but i think you meant to put "'Oh! Hi there! Are you still chasing that weird girl?'” ("Ow" is like saying that the person got hurt somehow)

other than that, there are a few spelling/grammar mistakes but other than those...great job! i hope u update soon! ^-^ :)
4/26/2008 c4 2forevermissingwonderland
How did you do that little 'u' at the end?

WHAT is gonna hit the ground, Ingrid? Who? What?

I need you to update again please mso I can review to your awesome story again.

Peace-out, MinnyMisty
4/26/2008 c4 3Queen S of Randomness 016
hey! yet another awesome job! i hope u update soon! ^-^
4/9/2008 c3 Queen S of Randomness 016
the shortness is ok!

another great job! i hope u update soon!

& i hope u feel better soon! ^-^
3/27/2008 c2 Queen S of Randomness 016
hey!

i was really excited when i found out that u updated!

for future reference, his first name is spelled Cornelius.

AWESOME second chapter! i hope u update soon! ^-^
3/25/2008 c1 14Amorye
Interesting start you have. It's short, but I don't doubt that it will go longer. And don't fret too much about bad English, since FanFiction has made a new feature for beta reading. Keep writing. I'm sure you'll do great. :D
3/16/2008 c1 68avearia
Yes it is short, but that's ok. Just keep going, and don't get discouraged. If you think your english is bad, just get a Beta reader-someone who will read it over and fix spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. That'll make it easier.

Anyway, hope you update soon so we can see where this is going! (P.S. You might want to check your title; I think it should say "Expelled with Honor" instead of "expeld with honor". Sorry!)

See ya soon!

~avearia
3/9/2008 c1 2forevermissingwonderland
This sounds like a really good story, I am in the process of writing my first fanfic too, good luck\job.

P.S. I can't wait till you update!
3/9/2008 c1 3Queen S of Randomness 016
hey!

your english isn't THAT bad.

great start! i hope u update soon! ^-^

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