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for Claw Marks On My Heart

3/27/2008 c2 11wbaker5286
i really liked the start of this story. your characterizations are very good. i love the way you work humor into what sounds like a serious story. it always helps keep a story from becoming too dark.

the combination of action and developmental factors made for a nice flow. it kept my interest from the beginning of chapter 1 to the end of chapter 2. i did like the pace and writing in chapter 2 better, though.

the one thing i was wondering about was the end of chapter 1(and it was repeated in the recap at the beginning of chapter 2). you wrote 'a slimy, forked tongue darted past its scaly lips and ran over the front of its feet, wetting them.' should it be teeth, and not feet?

thank you for a wonderful beginning to what looks to be an entertaining story.
3/26/2008 c2 1TheCookieGirl
damn! this is gettin pretty intense jaaj nice nice nice work here! someones got talent! and dont worry ok if u hav emocional problems just take a break to chill or else you will not enjoy ur writing as much as when ur happy well nice job love ur work pliis continiu bubbye

*(^_^)*vanila
3/23/2008 c1 28Inu Hanyou Nikkie
You are an amazing writer! Thank you for sharing this story with us! The descriptions are perfectly done and written! I can feel the desperation of the situation coming from InuYasha! You have -to me- capture the essence of the characters Brillantly! You weave a spell and draw the reader into the story beautiful! Kudos! I look forward to reading more!
3/23/2008 c2 2October Addums
Aww, that's a mean place to stop xDD

But that's alright. Great job, and update whenever you can, I'll be waiting.
3/23/2008 c2 1Michelle Weasley Fenton
Love the battle scene
3/23/2008 c2 my-soul-is-your-soul
Very Intresting
3/12/2008 c1 1TheCookieGirl
wow! what a good start !

*(^_^)*vanilla!
3/11/2008 c1 2Adi Sagestar
I really like the writing in this. The fight scenes are especially good. However, I think you're describing a bit too much. We know what they all look like and what they wear, so you could cut back a bit on the descriptive paragraphs, especially in the middle of a fight. The bit describing Sango, Kagome, Kirara, and Shippou was especially disrupting. If you read back over it you'll probably see what I mean.

Regards,

Adi

=^.".^=
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