
5/6/2010 c3
2Sarmatian-Warrioress
i would like nothing more than a good cup of ale. though the night with Lancelot is not to my liking. i would much rather prefer Dagonet. :)
lol. very good so far. im moving on to the next chapter now. keep up the good work, lass!

i would like nothing more than a good cup of ale. though the night with Lancelot is not to my liking. i would much rather prefer Dagonet. :)
lol. very good so far. im moving on to the next chapter now. keep up the good work, lass!
7/30/2008 c12
5Twitch88
Very good. I hope that there is a sequel planned for the future. I think you could write a very good one. Fantastic story though! =)

Very good. I hope that there is a sequel planned for the future. I think you could write a very good one. Fantastic story though! =)
5/1/2008 c12 Emili
Wow I just finished reading this...
I FLIPPIN LOVED IT!
you deffinitely portrayed Tristan better than many of the other fanfic authors out there!
I just loved it!
:D
Wow I just finished reading this...
I FLIPPIN LOVED IT!
you deffinitely portrayed Tristan better than many of the other fanfic authors out there!
I just loved it!
:D
4/4/2008 c8 katie
your story is okay its just ktanya is a little retarded maybe? or just mary sue
your story is okay its just ktanya is a little retarded maybe? or just mary sue
3/26/2008 c12 hollie
Sorry for not reviewing until the last chapter I have a bad habit of doing that when I read an amazing story.
I do hope that you make a sequel to it. I'd really like to see how it would change the story line (going by the movie) and such.
Very well done.
I hope to see a sequel! =]
-holls
Sorry for not reviewing until the last chapter I have a bad habit of doing that when I read an amazing story.
I do hope that you make a sequel to it. I'd really like to see how it would change the story line (going by the movie) and such.
Very well done.
I hope to see a sequel! =]
-holls
3/23/2008 c12 Sarah M
I have some con-crit to suggest.
Now, before you start throwing everything in sight at me, hear me out.
1. Tristan was indeed a bit out of character. He, by nature, is very reserved. I don't think that his nature would allow him to become very familiar-to the point of romance-with someone who he's just met, and only know for a few months. He's a killer; he keeps to himself, does his job, and that's it.
2. The above leads me to another point-the story seemed a bit rushed ... It seemed to move too fast. You really didn't expand on the depth of their relationship, her personality, their situation, etc.
3. As much as I hate to say this, K'tanya is a bit of a Mary Sue. Her background is a plausible one, but her actions just seem ... Mary Sue-ish. For example, her removing her brand with a knife? Possessing accurate aim? Quickly becoming best friends with the knights? And although she was kidnapped by Romans-which isn't impossible-the fact that she underwent immense amounts of torture and rape ... All of these things immediately scream "Mary Sue!".
4. And, this is a personal preference-you ended the story quite abruptly. You didn't hint at an ending in your story, nothing happened to lead us readers to believe that Tristan and K'tanya's story was coming to an end. You just cut it off in one chapter. Perhaps you could make a sequel. Or make an epilogue explaining everything.
Now, onto lighter topics-you really do write very well.
Really.
From one writer to another, I can easily say that you have talent. Which, unfortunately, I can't attribute to many other writers here.
Which fine-tuning, preening, and constant writing and even more constant revision, I really do think that you will be able improve your writing even more. That is, if you make the decision to take into account suggestions and criticism.
And I leave you to make that choice.
Farewell, and don't give up!
I have some con-crit to suggest.
Now, before you start throwing everything in sight at me, hear me out.
1. Tristan was indeed a bit out of character. He, by nature, is very reserved. I don't think that his nature would allow him to become very familiar-to the point of romance-with someone who he's just met, and only know for a few months. He's a killer; he keeps to himself, does his job, and that's it.
2. The above leads me to another point-the story seemed a bit rushed ... It seemed to move too fast. You really didn't expand on the depth of their relationship, her personality, their situation, etc.
3. As much as I hate to say this, K'tanya is a bit of a Mary Sue. Her background is a plausible one, but her actions just seem ... Mary Sue-ish. For example, her removing her brand with a knife? Possessing accurate aim? Quickly becoming best friends with the knights? And although she was kidnapped by Romans-which isn't impossible-the fact that she underwent immense amounts of torture and rape ... All of these things immediately scream "Mary Sue!".
4. And, this is a personal preference-you ended the story quite abruptly. You didn't hint at an ending in your story, nothing happened to lead us readers to believe that Tristan and K'tanya's story was coming to an end. You just cut it off in one chapter. Perhaps you could make a sequel. Or make an epilogue explaining everything.
Now, onto lighter topics-you really do write very well.
Really.
From one writer to another, I can easily say that you have talent. Which, unfortunately, I can't attribute to many other writers here.
Which fine-tuning, preening, and constant writing and even more constant revision, I really do think that you will be able improve your writing even more. That is, if you make the decision to take into account suggestions and criticism.
And I leave you to make that choice.
Farewell, and don't give up!
3/23/2008 c12
2Mournful-Optimist
I have to disagree with you this story isn't done. You have so many ways of continuing it, so many ideas in every chapter that could lead to something bigger. Please don't leave it at this. Or if you must leave it at this, write a sequel. So far it has been a pleasure to read this, but to me the ending came to an abrupt halt, you left to many questions for the reader. What happens next? What did her dream mean? Who was talking to her in her dream? How is she now free? Who's to say that Roman won't come back for her again? These are the questions the reader needs answers to, in order for you, the writer to call this finished.
I truly hope you write more to this, I personally would enjoy reading it. Good luck!

I have to disagree with you this story isn't done. You have so many ways of continuing it, so many ideas in every chapter that could lead to something bigger. Please don't leave it at this. Or if you must leave it at this, write a sequel. So far it has been a pleasure to read this, but to me the ending came to an abrupt halt, you left to many questions for the reader. What happens next? What did her dream mean? Who was talking to her in her dream? How is she now free? Who's to say that Roman won't come back for her again? These are the questions the reader needs answers to, in order for you, the writer to call this finished.
I truly hope you write more to this, I personally would enjoy reading it. Good luck!
3/22/2008 c8 mistakenidentity02
another great chapter! i love this story! keep up the wonderful work and update soon!:)
another great chapter! i love this story! keep up the wonderful work and update soon!:)