for What Is Hermione Hiding?5/24/2011 c1 
1Winged She-Wolf
I hope your not serious about abandoning this story! I would love to watch this plot proceed! Please reconsider.
1Winged She-WolfI hope your not serious about abandoning this story! I would love to watch this plot proceed! Please reconsider.
8/5/2010 c1 peaches
hey wheres the next chappie i like this story you havta finish it PLEASE
hey wheres the next chappie i like this story you havta finish it PLEASE
6/27/2010 c2 HermioneFan28
what happend to her real father? who was the man that attacked her? will she die because the wound is spreading the way it is what is that spell that she got hit with and why doesnt she use the spell she invented on her stepfather? you said her stepfather beat her while her stupid mother watched, did her rape her too while or not while her stupid mother watched?
what happend to her real father? who was the man that attacked her? will she die because the wound is spreading the way it is what is that spell that she got hit with and why doesnt she use the spell she invented on her stepfather? you said her stepfather beat her while her stupid mother watched, did her rape her too while or not while her stupid mother watched?
6/19/2010 c1 5The Seaberry
Your premise has potential, but I stopped reading halfway due to your spelling and grammar. I would suggest getting a beta to edit for you, because you really do have a great concept here :)
5The SeaberryYour premise has potential, but I stopped reading halfway due to your spelling and grammar. I would suggest getting a beta to edit for you, because you really do have a great concept here :)
6/11/2010 c2 shurfine
I like the story line, but you do have a few errors... If you would like me to Beta your story, I would be glad to. Also, you could get another yahoo account, and just write, then send to that account, sign on the account you just sent to, and continue writing... Just to write until you get word on your computer. But I do like the story line. :D
I like the story line, but you do have a few errors... If you would like me to Beta your story, I would be glad to. Also, you could get another yahoo account, and just write, then send to that account, sign on the account you just sent to, and continue writing... Just to write until you get word on your computer. But I do like the story line. :D
6/10/2010 c2 7At the Heart of the Storm
Looking forward to your next chapter! :D Going to re read it to see if I have any ideas.
...
Hoping this is helpful - You need to add things like smells, sights and sounds: i.e. The night was cool and damp, typical Scottish weather, and it's familiaity was like a balm to her soul. Hermione walked slowly along the lake's shore... etc. One of my old teachers calls it "padding". Just be careful you don't add too much. Too much suffocates the story and too little makes it insubstanscial. =) Let me know if I can help.
~B~
XXX
7At the Heart of the StormLooking forward to your next chapter! :D Going to re read it to see if I have any ideas.
...
Hoping this is helpful - You need to add things like smells, sights and sounds: i.e. The night was cool and damp, typical Scottish weather, and it's familiaity was like a balm to her soul. Hermione walked slowly along the lake's shore... etc. One of my old teachers calls it "padding". Just be careful you don't add too much. Too much suffocates the story and too little makes it insubstanscial. =) Let me know if I can help.
~B~
XXX
6/10/2010 c2 Sadako1231
hey...i cant wait to read the next chapter...i really enjoyed reading the first one...so pls udate soon!
thanx :)
hey...i cant wait to read the next chapter...i really enjoyed reading the first one...so pls udate soon!
thanx :)
9/15/2009 c1 anonymous
please continue with the story. it is good and i would like to know how it ends
please continue with the story. it is good and i would like to know how it ends