for Pieces3/27/2008 c1 Mr Anonymous
It was interesting and depressing.
It was interesting and depressing.
3/25/2008 c1 
47Ardwynna Morrigu
Pain and angsting, perfect! Not overwrought, not dragged out, just a glimpse at how a sharp grief took over Cloud's life for a while. Lovely!
47Ardwynna MorriguPain and angsting, perfect! Not overwrought, not dragged out, just a glimpse at how a sharp grief took over Cloud's life for a while. Lovely!
3/25/2008 c1 10miamijuggler
Oh man... heartbreaking!
Your characterization of Aeris is perfect, even though it might only exist in the haunting recesses of Cloud's mind. I love it!
The only criticism I have is that some of your metaphors are a bit... inaccessible. What I mean is that you know very specifically what you mean by "A slip of a flowergirl," but as an audience I don't have a very clear idea of what that represents (other than a dress-like undergarment).
On the other hand, some of your other metaphors are brilliant:
"a hard little knot of despair in his chest"
"like so much dead weight and so many sharp edges."
These are great. These are things that everyone can relate to. I guess all you have to do is keep that in mind when you write, and you should be fine.
All in all, though, wonderful fic. As always, I hope to hear more from you, and eventually I'll get off my but and write some stuff, too :).
Keep up the good work!
10miamijugglerOh man... heartbreaking!
Your characterization of Aeris is perfect, even though it might only exist in the haunting recesses of Cloud's mind. I love it!
The only criticism I have is that some of your metaphors are a bit... inaccessible. What I mean is that you know very specifically what you mean by "A slip of a flowergirl," but as an audience I don't have a very clear idea of what that represents (other than a dress-like undergarment).
On the other hand, some of your other metaphors are brilliant:
"a hard little knot of despair in his chest"
"like so much dead weight and so many sharp edges."
These are great. These are things that everyone can relate to. I guess all you have to do is keep that in mind when you write, and you should be fine.
All in all, though, wonderful fic. As always, I hope to hear more from you, and eventually I'll get off my but and write some stuff, too :).
Keep up the good work!
3/25/2008 c1 clouodaerisforever
snif... this is just... so sweet!
snif... this is just... so sweet!