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4/15/2008 c3 2Kwebs
Kims really gonna be curious as to what the scream was all about. How is Ron gonna explain that one. I wonder what the true secret is, you've given a hint but not enough to figure out. Look forward to your next update. Keep it up.
4/15/2008 c3 1bigherb81
Nice job on the new chapter really looking forward to seeing exactly what this secret is now. Also nice job with the small world ratio in this one. Kim is partners with the myster friend that Ron has. Looking forward to finding out how Ron learned this secret and if he'll ever get to tell it.
4/9/2008 c2 2One Point Perspective
Ha ha! Reading all those reviews from people who have no idea what's going on, I've realized it's great to actually know who everyone is, and what the secret is. I loved this chapter for many reasons: 1) It introduced Kim's side of the story, and also her connection to Kenta 2) That conversation between Kim and Yori - I can't believe Yori got Kim with that jinx... 3) That showdown at Julian's is coming ever closer; I can't wait to see how you pull it off! 4) Ron offering his shirttail to K- I mean, that girl, was priceless.

The only thing that's got me wondering is that...the girl said "she" is watching Ron all the time, and it's usually the white-haired one that does that (I'm trying very hard not to use names). But last chapter's dialogue doesn't fit her personality, like, at all. Not to mention the fact that you wrote "woman", not "girl." I suppose the older one would naturally be able to do that too, but I thought the reason the white-haired one did was because she wasn't "fully realized" and could withstand the circumstances. By the way, I'll be amazed if you understood any of that.

Only one question now: how and when will you reveal the secret? In little tidbits, to keep the reviewers guessing, or in a full-out exposition? Only time will tell...

Oh, and I didn't mention this before, but nice choice of title - very subtle :)
4/9/2008 c2 flakeflippingsnowgypsy
I love being in on the secret (for once)... mwhahahahaha!

Brilliant moments- when Kenta wants to check his watch ... when Yori references Ron's "normal American-style carefree behavior" and when she jinxes Kim and tells her it is her honor to owe her a soda ... Ron offering the girl his shirttail as a handkerchief ... the creepy feeling at the end.

So... will it be embarrassing when Ron & Kim stop by? :)

Nicely done. Mwah.
4/9/2008 c2 20RonHeartbreaker
Wow! Great mix of flawless, evocative writing, in-character dialogue, and mysterious plot development. By-play between Possible-San and Kenta at the beginning (his reluctance to hear her out, the secretly borrowed suit, etc.) was quite entertaining. I read up on your crossover universe via Wikipedia and I'm ready for chapter 3!
4/9/2008 c1 RonHeartbreaker
Intriguing! Great setup - very Ronnish behavior in an unusual context - really piques the interest.
4/9/2008 c2 7EpIcKiGo
wow... intense keep going coz i really like this so far
4/9/2008 c1 AccountRetiredPleaseDelete
This is going to be a surprisingly short review, well for me anyway. :-) The first chapter was very mysterious. What could be the secret that Ron is being asked to keep? And what misunderstandings and comic hijinks will occur before jellin' A-Type personality Kim gets let in on the completely unnecessary "drama"?

But the moment you mentioned Kim's TokyoU friend, his strange eyes and the place he and his girlfriend work, it pretty much made the whole thing obvious. I know what series your crossing over with. But are you using the anime or manga continuity? Because there are differences between the two, particularly between the second half of the anime (which I didn't particularly like) and the manga which is only out in English up to about volume 7 or 8 right now.

With all this knowledge, the only question is not how long its going to take Kim to find anything out but how long it takes before you know who lets the cat out of the bag about her secret on her own, probably by accident. Although I imagine that we'll probably see tons of jellin' Kim before that happens. (I keep saying this in my reviews of Yvj's stories but jellin' Kim is just so fun to read... :-) I'm also getting the vibe that what will soon follow will make Kim's behavior in Gorilla Fist seem tame and restrained... :-) )
4/9/2008 c2 56MrDrP
A nicely written chapter. You did a fine job of introducing Kim's classmate (he already seems like a long-time denizen of the KPverse), made me smile while I read the conclusion of the Kim-Yori conversation, and successfully ratcheted up my curiosity with the final scenes involving Ron.

I'll leave you with what I believe is the highest compliment one writer can pay another: I wish I'd written that final exchange between Kim and Yori! Jinx indeed ...
4/9/2008 c2 4CajunBear73
Arghh, such the dancing on the edge of the issue!

Kind of interesting that Ron would be at a pivot point in his and Kim's lives, where he can be observed by the enforcer of his big secret. Ironic about threads of his and Kim's current existences running across that one restaurant.

But if the female with Ron there isn't Yori, and the ninja has no clue of Ron's secret, then who is with him at Julian's?

A little angst and explosive adventure coming right up!

CB73
4/8/2008 c2 BlueEyedBrigadier
What...the...huh? Now this is just all kinds of sick-wrong, Molloy! Bless you for that!

;)

Really, this is some Grade A shizney, mi amigo! Can't wait to see more:D
4/8/2008 c2 the grey mage
i am so curious. how could you do this to me?
4/8/2008 c2 1bigherb81
Man this is a crazy story I'm itchin to know this secret my damn self. I mean what happened at this restaraunt, who the hell are these chicks, and what has Ron gotten himself involved in? Really looking forward to upcoming chapters to find out what in the samhill is going on.
4/8/2008 c2 2Kwebs
Kim knows somethings wrong and she feels left out and confused by what Ron is doing. Looking forward to you next chapter. Please update soon! Keep it up.
4/3/2008 c1 2One Point Perspective
Gasp! Is this that new story that you said you were thinking of doing, but you only had a vague notion of the plot? (I'm trying not to say too much since it's obvious that you want to keep it a mystery)

Anyway, if it is that story, then I'm 99% sure I know who's talking and what the secret is. I can't wait to read more! *wriggles in anticipation*

One question that I hope to have answered soon has popped into my mind: How did Ron learn their secret? (Did he happen to be feeling down at the time?)

P.S. Is the restaurant scene going to be in it? That plot bunny sounded like it was going to be a funny one-shot, but it seems like this story is taking on a more serious tone...hm...
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