for Sergeant of Hinata sou5/10/2008 c2 
3Kayin Sparkle Dreemurr
Very interesting story. I really enjoyed it.
Luckily, if my character was in there, he wouldnt have any problesm either... cept hed proablly find a way to stop the sergant.
3Kayin Sparkle DreemurrVery interesting story. I really enjoyed it.
Luckily, if my character was in there, he wouldnt have any problesm either... cept hed proablly find a way to stop the sergant.
4/14/2008 c2 3Bladed Alchemist
Good story. I just have a couple of suggestions. Use puncuation, don't make run-on sentences. And edit some. You've got words were they don't make sense. Otherwise, good fic.
3Bladed AlchemistGood story. I just have a couple of suggestions. Use puncuation, don't make run-on sentences. And edit some. You've got words were they don't make sense. Otherwise, good fic.
4/13/2008 c2 1v2
nice zero very nice but make sure you check your spelling like what did you mean by [[ one of my chores going to be ]]but it is sitll good.
nice zero very nice but make sure you check your spelling like what did you mean by [[ one of my chores going to be ]]but it is sitll good.
4/9/2008 c2 Love Hina Fanatic
This is so great! By the way, Sgt. Slaughter is a Marine, and he is a Drill Instructor, not a Drill Sergeant. That is an Army term for their recruit trainers.
This is so great! By the way, Sgt. Slaughter is a Marine, and he is a Drill Instructor, not a Drill Sergeant. That is an Army term for their recruit trainers.
4/8/2008 c1 2The Desperado
Ha, ha, ha! Funny, very funy! May i suggest having Snake Eyes show up and face Motoko
2The DesperadoHa, ha, ha! Funny, very funy! May i suggest having Snake Eyes show up and face Motoko
4/8/2008 c1 Love Hina Fanatic
This is going to be so much fun, the girls don't stand a chance. HEHEHEHE!
This is going to be so much fun, the girls don't stand a chance. HEHEHEHE!