4/14/2008 c1 6Fate Defied
Your style of writing is very refreshing, and I like the amount of detail that you use. I can picture things quite well, and it has a certain air of mystery around it, which I also like.

The one thing, however, that's getting on my nerves is the paragraphing. You have big, blocks of text with wonderful words in them. If you separated them into smaller blocks of texts, it will be much easier for the reader to follow along. I can't read big paragraphs that well, and if the paragraphs are smaller, it forces me to read them.

Other than that, I like it so far. A second-person POV is so different and hard to find these days, and you write it splendidly! I love it! The dialogue seems to be good, and from what I can see, you've got Zexion's character pretty well. I would love to see more from you in the future!

~the White Raven