for kagome3/30/2010 c4 
3i-love-yhu-sesshomaru
i think the story is great and not to be harsh but it spelled sesshoumaru but can't wait til you update soon and thanks for the review
3i-love-yhu-sesshomarui think the story is great and not to be harsh but it spelled sesshoumaru but can't wait til you update soon and thanks for the review
10/19/2008 c4 6Luna Kaori Rose
ok i like the story but i think that you should have the chapters a bit longer and please message me if you would like some ideas for the dinner,i would be more than happy to help you with the story
6Luna Kaori Roseok i like the story but i think that you should have the chapters a bit longer and please message me if you would like some ideas for the dinner,i would be more than happy to help you with the story
9/6/2008 c4 3The Black Sheep Juri
thanks for reviewing my story. 'one good turn deserves another'. ok anything i am about to say is to try to help you improve your writing. i really dont mean to sound harsh.
all in all it is a great story, however, if you put in a few more commas, full stops, it would be easier to see where somethings end.
also putting speach on a new line for each person also helps. your descriptions are good ( probably better than mine.i'm not good with describing things. my stories are dialouge driven lol) but in stead of saying 'said' all the time try to use different words that display the emotion the character is feeling. for example, when kagome came home and told sango about work and sango blew up, instead of using said you could have used yelled, cried, exclaimed etc, you know? i really dont mean to sound harsh and the summary did say ' be critical' so i was.
i hope i havent offended you or hurt you. i was only trying to give you some helpful criticism. a friend of mine takes criticism to heart that's why i keep saying sorry and stuff so yeah, like i said all in all a great story and i cant wait to read more.
iunshagopup
3The Black Sheep Jurithanks for reviewing my story. 'one good turn deserves another'. ok anything i am about to say is to try to help you improve your writing. i really dont mean to sound harsh.
all in all it is a great story, however, if you put in a few more commas, full stops, it would be easier to see where somethings end.
also putting speach on a new line for each person also helps. your descriptions are good ( probably better than mine.i'm not good with describing things. my stories are dialouge driven lol) but in stead of saying 'said' all the time try to use different words that display the emotion the character is feeling. for example, when kagome came home and told sango about work and sango blew up, instead of using said you could have used yelled, cried, exclaimed etc, you know? i really dont mean to sound harsh and the summary did say ' be critical' so i was.
i hope i havent offended you or hurt you. i was only trying to give you some helpful criticism. a friend of mine takes criticism to heart that's why i keep saying sorry and stuff so yeah, like i said all in all a great story and i cant wait to read more.
iunshagopup
8/30/2008 c3 12Hi-Karu Tenhi
Dude the story freain' rocks.
it's funny and good.
i cant wait to see what's going to come up next
and yeah
Hi-Karu
12Hi-Karu TenhiDude the story freain' rocks.
it's funny and good.
i cant wait to see what's going to come up next
and yeah
Hi-Karu
8/26/2008 c3 7miss quirky bookworm
aw thats so cute that he has feelings for and that he is nervous. :) hm i think he should wait a couple of days and casually bring it up while he is helping her with an assignment that requires them to spend a lot of time together. also i think when Inuyasha comes home he should either be surprised or mad or something about seeing Kagome with Sesshomaru maybe. idk i hope your foot gets better
7miss quirky bookwormaw thats so cute that he has feelings for and that he is nervous. :) hm i think he should wait a couple of days and casually bring it up while he is helping her with an assignment that requires them to spend a lot of time together. also i think when Inuyasha comes home he should either be surprised or mad or something about seeing Kagome with Sesshomaru maybe. idk i hope your foot gets better
8/25/2008 c3 Hvlcyon
Heyhi! okay, so i read your chapters and i really like them and the idea for the story! keep it up!
P.S. You have spelling mistakes for a few names, they should be:
Kirara, Kaede, and taisho, some people even name it tashio, but its mostly taisho. i hope i got them all...
well, good luck to ya' =D
Heyhi! okay, so i read your chapters and i really like them and the idea for the story! keep it up!
P.S. You have spelling mistakes for a few names, they should be:
Kirara, Kaede, and taisho, some people even name it tashio, but its mostly taisho. i hope i got them all...
well, good luck to ya' =D
8/25/2008 c2 miss quirky bookworm
gasp im sure she never expected Sesshomaru to be her boss. hmm are you going to put shippou and kouga in the mix?
gasp im sure she never expected Sesshomaru to be her boss. hmm are you going to put shippou and kouga in the mix?
8/23/2008 c1 26Tairi Soraryu
A few comments...other than the obvious spelling errors already mentioned and the lack of capitalizing people's names, a little formatting wouldn't be amiss. When a new person speaks, add a paragraph break. Utilize periods, complete sentences, and fewer run-ons. Kirara's name is either Kirara or Kilala, but not a mixture of both.
It'd be a nice fic with a little more detail, and if you spent more time on it - elaborate where they are, when this takes place, etc.
26Tairi SoraryuA few comments...other than the obvious spelling errors already mentioned and the lack of capitalizing people's names, a little formatting wouldn't be amiss. When a new person speaks, add a paragraph break. Utilize periods, complete sentences, and fewer run-ons. Kirara's name is either Kirara or Kilala, but not a mixture of both.
It'd be a nice fic with a little more detail, and if you spent more time on it - elaborate where they are, when this takes place, etc.